Our friends! Can they come over? Are they coming over? Today? Tomorrow? the Next day? Again, please?
Can we go to this place? Or that one? Again?
Drawwwww!....Mama, I wan drwaaaw, again!
This show, mama! I love this one! Can I watch it again? or this one? Again?
Let's play catch this morning! This afternoon? Tonight? Everyday, and all day!?
Let's go outside! Can we go? Again? Pleasssssseeeee????
The list goes on and on. The requests seem to never stop coming from their innocent and easily delighted minds.
Again. Again. Again!
And then there's me. I grow tired of the constant requests. I say No more than I care for to some of the little things and to some of the big ones too. Again and again and again, and I'm always left wondering how they never grow tired of doing the same thing. Wanting the same thing. Loving the same thing. Delighting in the same thing.
Which makes me wonder what it is they are asking of me. You know? Underneath it all. When the outward appearance of the inward need gets pulled forth. That little big thing. What is that?
I could name it oodles of different things but what I always come back to, and feel it always comes down to, is will you love me in this way.
Will you love me with your time? Sitting here with me? Holding me and reading to me? The same book, the same way, you did it that one time that made my eyes light up? That way that delighted my senses and imagination?!
Will you love me with your effort? Sharing with me, getting down on the floor with me for this game, or feeding me? Not just physically but spiritually too? In ways that delight my soul? Showing me what service looks like? Again?
So I, too, can learn how to be love.
Will you love me through teaching me? Show me the world? Show me His Goodness? Again and again and again?! Expose me to beauty, to truth, and to all the things that make your heart make sense of the world around us? Show me all the ways that you delight in the world so I can have all the fun delighting in it too?
Will you love me in this way? Unconditionally?...Every time?...
I've been gifted these sweet little ones. These beautiful and good hearts. They love me. So much. They love me. Unconditionally. Good days, bad days, in between days, again and again, they love me.
And as much as I love them as unconditionally as my little mama heart can, my tainted soul that has lived this life does so imperfectly.
I imagine that's where the again and again and agains come from...maybe?
Either way, all of this just takes me aback. To be like a child really isn't so far from being an adult child of God. We are His Sons and Daughters. Always. He never stops. Never tires. He shows us. Patiently and sweetly. He meets us. Promptly and boldly. He hears our requests over and over and over again.
Because He who is Love, Loves us more than we'll ever fully know here in this world. He delights in us in all the little and big ways that a child so easily delights in all of the little and big things of their encounters.
And my boys. They come to me, my husband, and to our family and friends, with joy in their hearts with all of their requests bursting from their lips. As it should be.
As we were created to be. Will you love me like He loves you? Like He loves me?
I am not perfect. I don't meet their every need and never will. I don't always delight in the ways they delight or love them as well as I'd always prayed I would.
But then there's our Perfect Father. The One who loved us all before we were made known to our mother's womb. He is the One, the Perfect One that will meet my little ones where I lack. And He is the One who meets me, His daughter, any and every time I come to Him. Sharing my heart. Sharing the little whispers of my soul, again and again and again. He is the One who sees me, knows me, loves me and will be with me all the days of my life. Him.
He is the one that shares all the beauties and all the goodness of this world with my little heart, just the same way I pray I can share all of these bits of His Glory with my little ones, husband, family, and friends.
But these little ones - they teach me. Encourage me to get outside of myself - a place I can be found often. They encourage me to humble myself again and again and again. To become more like the sinner who is grateful for her beautiful Savior rather than just a sinner with no hope of truth, goodness, beauty, or delight.
Embracing the little ordinaries of these little gifts in my life has done more good for my soul than I ever could have imagined. This road to sanctification is mine and it makes more and more sense to my soul, no matter how hard it can be for my flesh. This road to sanctification has taught me more about my good and loving Savior than I ever anticipated. How He loves me unconditionally. How He loves me like a child.
“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
Again and again, they teach me. Again and again, He teaches me. Again and again, I'm thankful. And, again and again, I am shared another opportunity to know, love, and serve the One who delights in me most through the ones He has shared with me.