tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46718799776392388352024-02-07T04:00:38.512-06:00Erring on the Side of LoveAmandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.comBlogger544125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-75064097028679181272018-03-23T16:48:00.003-05:002018-08-07T09:05:24.047-05:00motherhood // standing<div style="text-align: center;">
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Never had I experienced true fear or anxiety till becoming a mother.<br />
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Fragile little souls wrapped in beauty placed within me three times, thus far. These precious little souls awakened my own awareness of, not only my own soul, but the soul of my husband and others I encounter through friendship, family, and happenstance more than previously possible.<br />
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Recently, I was sitting next to young missionary girls at a dinner. One of the young women asked me what has been the most profound experience or truth I have discovered since becoming a <i>mother</i>.<br />
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Given that this was my first encounter with this young woman and she was excited and happy to just chat about life, I was happy to oblige with an answer. However, she had just asked me one of <i>those</i> questions that not only make you try to form words to experiences known so intimately from the depths of you, but also that make you spiral back through your <i>entire</i> life, again, trying to comprise words that could give justice to the realities only known by the heart.<br />
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I looked at her, because in truth, I have thought of this before (remember, I'm an INFP to the core), and told her,<br />
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<i>Never have I known the true weight and glory of another's soul till becoming a mother.</i><br />
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Those are the only words I've been able to string together to encompass the truth of carrying another person within me. The weight after my firstborn came into my arms was so real and good and beautiful. Then, the weights of our second born and third born that followed all delighted my own soul in really big ways.<br />
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But as much as there has been such delight and sheer joy at the amazing gift of life and having been that instrument, there has been just as much anxiety, and at times, fear that tries to seep in more often than I care for.<br />
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Any sickness, severe or minor, has pierced my heart. Every injury or wail from the other room, has put my heart in a panic from within. Almost like there is something inside me, a part of them still left, that mimics their pain.<br />
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There's been times when I thought I would have to let my Lord have them sooner than my heart was ready. And there's been times when their suffering, untouchable by my simple hands, has spun me round in a whirlwind of hope and fear, a desire to love and dizzying anxiety.<br />
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In these times, prayer has been my consolation. My husband has also been such a stronghold. Scripture has wrapped me in blankets of stories of those of old and their own wisdom in times of trial. Mother Church and her communion of saints has also lit a pathway present and forward that proved good, honest, and needed. All of this, wrapped in His Grace, are what have brought me to where I am today, able to look back and and hopefully, look at my present and say, <i>all is well, all is well, in all manner of things, all shall be well</i><i>.</i><br />
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Words really have a way of calming my soul into stillness, as does <i>Truth, Beauty, and Goodness.</i> The saints and their heroic lives also meet my soul in a way that is so encouraging! So, to bring words, <i>Truth, Goodness, and Beauty, </i>and the saints together, I'm going to share seven + one bits of wisdom below that has helped me withstand deciet a time <i>or many</i>.<br />
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<a href="http://www.ourcatholicprayers.com/st-patricks-breastplate.html">St. Patrick's "Breastplate" prayer</a>:</div>
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The prayer, in full, is so incredibly powerful! Have you ever prayed the full prayer? Definitely worth every word! Prior to discovering the full prayer, I had only known the more commonly seen portion of it:<br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: start;">Christ with me,<br />Christ before me,<br />Christ behind me,<br />Christ in me,<br />Christ beneath me,<br />Christ above me,<br />Christ on my right,<br />Christ on my left,<br />Christ when I lie down,<br />Christ when I sit down,<br />Christ when I arise,<br />Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,<br />Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,<br />Christ in every eye that sees me,<br />Christ in every ear that hears me.</b><br />
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While the portion I was familiar with is also beautiful and good, the full prayer is just so strong, powerful, and commanding.</div>
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“So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known.”</div>
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-Matthew 10:26</div>
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"Stop entertaining those vain fears. Remember it is not feeling which constitutes guilt but the consent to such feelings. Only the free will is capable of good or evil. But when the will sighs under the trial of the tempter and does not will what is presented to it, there is not only no fault but there is virtue."</div>
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-St. Padre Pio</div>
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"Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do."</div>
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- Pope John XXIII<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">"But immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take heart, it is I; </span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">do not be afraid</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">.”</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">-</span><span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;">Mark 6:50</span><br />
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"In all the events of life, you must recognize the divine will. Adore and bless it, especially in the things which are the hardest for you."</div>
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- St. Padre Pio<br />
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“Do not fear what may happen tomorrow. The same loving Father who cares for you today will care for you tomorrow and every day. Either he will shield you from suffering or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it. Be at peace then and put aside all anxious thoughts and imaginings.”</div>
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-St. Francis de Sales</div>
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While the joy and delight of the gift of life being shared with my husband and I has been one of the most profound experiences of our lives up to this point, there are times where I struggle with <i>trusting</i> in Him. In those times, fear and anxiety run over me and it feels awful. These words of wisdom, encouragement, and truth have all been anchors for my soul, forcing me to stand on grounds formed of <i>Truths</i> rather than the sinking sands of deceit that the father of lies spews at me.</div>
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Becoming a mother has truly allowed me to have these extravagant tastes of Heaven that I do not deserve, and it has also made the soul, eternity, and salvation that much more real. The <i>real</i> is the life-saving part, but can all too easily, become my fault that spins me further away from the heart of my vocation. A spin, that if left unattended, can leave me in the most disoriented and dizzy state!</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">How do you all combat deceit or falsehoods in your life? Do you have amazing sounding boards in your spouse or a best friend or parent? Do you fill yourself with scripture or wisdom from the saints? OR perhaps, something entirely different? I'd love to know!</i></h3>
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Prayers that we can all move towards the heart of our vocation and stay there with gratitude, delight, joy, and authentic presence more often than let the dizzies invade!</div>
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<i><a href="http://thisaintthelyceum.org/sqt-so-just-how-is-school-going-anyway/">linking up with Kelly for some quick-takes</a></i></div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-79025110455955172042018-03-18T15:29:00.001-05:002018-03-18T21:24:44.898-05:00the side of love // taking the time<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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There's a beautiful rhythm to our world. We see it in the seasons that guide us through death and new life every year. The rhythm calls to us. It calls to our souls that yearn for the Unseen because it is in what is seen that makes the Unseen known.<br />
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In a similar way, we experience seasons. Seasons of health and seasons of sickness, seasons of death and of new life, seasons of growth and seasons of stillness, and seasons of every possible opposition that exists in our little world.<br />
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A few years ago, my soul entered a season of stillness. The season felt like it was filled with so many words that displayed such amazing thought and Truth, and yet, a season in which my soul could not form comparable words on this little webspace of mine. It's almost as if my soul was so filled it couldn't possibly reveal the gifts that it was relishing in. And so, this season has felt like a sort of retreat of my heart, will, and mind.<br />
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During this time, I kept feeling the Holy Spirit nudge.<br />
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<i>Rest</i>.<br />
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<i>Be still.</i><br />
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<i>Know.</i></div>
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Now, I know I've chatted about rest in this little space of mine. Rest is just something that comes naturally to me, sometimes in times that are fantastic and nourishing, and in other times, in a way that is easily seen as vice! </div>
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But this was a different sort of rest. The kind of rest that us phlegmatic/INFP's are absolutely stellar at is not what He was asking of me, rather, more of a rest of my brain and heart! In other words, He grabbed my hand, walked me away from here, and asked me to take some time to try and still the inner constancy of my brain.</div>
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This retreat has been incredibly amazing. The gift of Mother Church, Her teachings, all that surrounds us in the wisdom of the faithful - old and new, the incredible otherworldliness of universal truths, and more are what my mind, heart, and soul have been continually filled with these last couple of years. To say, I'm thankful doesn't even begin to cut it!</div>
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And yet, through it all, my little soul has been stunned into silence. There's been such a filling of Truth, that leaves me not knowing where to begin.<br />
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There's beauty in new beginnings. We see it every season. We see it at every <i>end</i> to a season, too. The fruits are seen and known and serve our hearts in such good ways. Only, if we take the time to see it.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">So, till the next time I take the time to see and know, how do you take time to notice how He speaks to you in your season or present?</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">Is it easy? What are the distractions? What are the encouragements? </i></h3>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-84573171817045960192018-03-04T17:02:00.003-06:002018-03-18T17:39:28.754-05:00the side of love // i want to make Him known<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Emptiness.<br />
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Nothing.<br />
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Stillness.<br />
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Stirring.<br />
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Have you ever felt these things? or maybe, have you ever wondered, <i>why</i>?, these things are ever present within you?<br />
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I sure have.<br />
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In fact, for some time now, every time I came to write here, these very words rose up in me and <i>stilled</i> me.<br />
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In that stillness there is nothing <i>but</i> stillness. There is nothing but an emptiness that leaves me feeling I have nothing to offer - no words to put together, no thoughts that make sense, nothing to say - nothing.<br />
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And yet, there is a stirring that does <i>not</i> go away. A stirring that keeps swirling within me. It's this little fire that sways, keeping a warmth within me filled with hope and desire and the whisper of <i>in His time.</i><br />
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I don't know what or when or how often I should be on this little webhome of mine, but I <i>do </i>know that I've asked Him for <i>time</i>, a request I notice Him answering in spurts, here and there spurts that I need to embrace. I also know that He hasn't taken my heart's desire to be in this little space, which is a truth I will not let pass me by, with His Grace.<br />
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So, with that, I'm going to open up my blogger page every time I sense a stirring. I'm going to go to the blankness and emptiness and nothingness of the white space with the tiny blinking cursor and ask my heart to put the words, she so much desires to puzzle through, out in the world.<br />
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Emptiness.<br />
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Nothing.<br />
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Stillness.<br />
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Stirring.<br />
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In all of these things, there He is. Through all of these things, I want to make Him known.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">How have you responded to the experience of <i>emptiness, nothing, stillness, or stirring? </i>How has He met you in these times?</span></h3>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-26141242098227810262018-01-30T14:10:00.000-06:002018-01-30T14:10:55.116-06:00childhood // bigfoot is six<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The biggest little love of ours turned six over the summer. To say this boy was designed to live outdoors playing sports and soaking up the sun is an understatement. If he's inside, he's wishing he were out, playing, running, jumping, climbing. If he's outside, the driving reason - aside from him loving his mama - for him being obedient when asked to come back inside, is his desire to come back out as soon as possible. He lives for that green grass, blue sky, and yellow sun. He thrives with all things sports and has such an ambition to improve on these challenging skills. It's fun and inspiring.<br />
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This little guy desperately wanted to <i>finally</i> lose a tooth. I mean, desperately! So, to start off in the gift of answered prayers department for a birthday, he lost his tooth the day before his birthday. He shed a tear he was so elated. I got the whole thing on video and his sheer joy may have caused this mama to shed a tear or two, too.<br />
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This guy loves his family, loves his siblings something fierce, has the biggest heart for his extended family, and truly enjoys and cares about his friends.<br />
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Bigfoot, you inspire love in us. You inspire true and authentic family time. You encourage your daddy and me to love each other well and we are forever grateful that God chose to share your beautiful soul with us.<br />
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Praying that God bless and keep you always in the stillness and fullness of His amazing and good heart. Thanks be to God from whom all blessings and gift come!<br />
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And, for fun, here's a little Q & A from the big man himself:<br />
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1. What is your favorite color? Green.<br />
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2. What is your favorite toy? Ninjago Sword.<br />
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3. What is your favorite fruit? Pears.<br />
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4. What is your favorite TV show? Ninjago.<br />
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5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pizza.<br />
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6. What is your favorite outfit? Houston Astros Jersey.<br />
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7. What is your favorite game? Jenga.<br />
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8. What is your favorite snack? Chips + Salsa.<br />
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9. What is your favorite animal? Cheetah.<br />
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10. What is your favorite song? Love is Action by Tauren Wells.<br />
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11. What is your favorite book? Nexo Knights book<br />
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12. Who is your best friend? my Brother + Dan<br />
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13. What is your favorite sport? Tae Kwon Do<br />
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14. What is your favorite thing to do outside? Play with my bouncy ball.<br />
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15. What is your favorite drink? Lemonade.<br />
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16. What is your favorite holiday? Halloween.<br />
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17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Swords.<br />
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18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Bacon, eggs, + pancakes<br />
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19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Pizza.<br />
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20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A Ninja.<br />
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love you, forever and ever, always.<br />
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-mama<br />
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-67460922647802268232017-02-13T17:08:00.002-06:002017-02-13T17:17:30.677-06:00childhood // linus is fourOur resident knight turned four. He is the sweetest little gift jam-packed with adventure, bravery, love, fierceness, courage, creativity, imagination, smiles, laughter, and silliness. He has challenged me as a mother in so many ways that I know are good for me and he has encouraged us all to be better just by living. We, unfortunately, had to cancel his little park birthday celebration, but all that mattered to this sweet little heart was whether or not his family would still be here to celebrate.<br />
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I could go on for days about this little Linus of ours, but instead, enjoy this fun questionnaire he happily answered for his mama and some photos of his birthday weekend!<br />
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1. What is your favorite color? Red<br />
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2. What is your favorite toy? My red dragon<br />
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3. What is your favorite fruit? Orange<br />
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4. What is your favorite TV show? Da Kratt Brothers<br />
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5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? Pizza<br />
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6. What is your favorite outfit? Dallas Cowboy Jersey<br />
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7. What is your favorite game? The dragon game.<br />
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8. What is your favorite snack? Gummi Bears<br />
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9. What is your favorite animal? Horsey<br />
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10. What is your favorite song? Nobody Knows by The Lumineers<br />
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11. What is your favorite book? St. George and the Dragon & The Hobbit<br />
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12. Who is your best friend? My brother.<br />
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13. What is your favorite sport? Baseball<br />
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14. What is your favourite thing to do outside? Play knights.<br />
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15. What is your favorite drink? Juice.<br />
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16. What is your favorite holiday? The Weekend.<br />
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17. What do you like to take to bed with you at night? Horse-y<br />
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18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast? Waffles with blueberry faces<br />
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19. What do you want for dinner on your birthday? Donuts.<br />
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20. What do you want to be when you grow up? A knight.<br />
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-87767307159351641472016-12-28T16:30:00.001-06:002016-12-28T16:30:09.609-06:00childhood // happy birthday dandelion<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for all that He, in His goodness, sends to us day after day."</i></span></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">-St. Gianna Beretta Molla</span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Dear sweetest daughter,</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">In many small but incredible ways, precious Dandelion, you have helped our little family live out this very happiness that St. Gianna mentioned years ago. From the moment you were conceived, to your very eventful birthday, to today and everything in between, your ability for joy, happiness, smiles, and laughter continue to move our little souls to all that is true, good, and beautiful in a way that only you can. </span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">From the bottom of your mama's heart and the hearts of your family and friends, thank you, little love. We truly are forever grateful.</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">Now onto a trip down Dandelion lane on your birthday.</span></div>
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It's an honor to be your mother. My prayers and love are always with you. Know that I am incrediby thrilled at the gift that it is to see you continue to grow into the woman God made you to be.</div>
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May God bless and keep you always, may our dear Mother continually hold you in her mantel of prayers, and may her mother, St. Anne always hear the prayers of your heart and bring them faithfully to Our Lord. XOXOXO</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-87198288607935350302016-12-21T17:48:00.000-06:002018-03-06T09:50:13.079-06:00finding beauty: late november, early december<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Pen pal friendships.</div>
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Milestone adventuring.<br />
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Growing up.<br />
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Hello Sunshine.<br />
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Sweet Sister time.<br />
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St. Anne, pray for us.<br />
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The little things.<br />
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Sibling love.<br />
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Moments to remember.<br />
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Mama time.<br />
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Family game night.<br />
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Mass and donuts date with my oldest.<br />
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Homeschooling whimsy.<br />
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Comfy cozy.<br />
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Growing together, learning together.<br />
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Friendships that are such gift.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><br />"Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the universe."<br /><br /><br />-St. Therese of Lisieux</i></h3>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-81200593359436663012016-12-19T16:06:00.001-06:002016-12-19T16:06:38.052-06:00childhood // four months of dandelion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Four months of Dandelion was just as sweet as the last three! She was snuggly, coo-ing, gentle, and so good at sleeping!</div>
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Mama finished her crochet blanket. It's the second I ever made, but the first that required piecing together + a border. I filled it with as much prayers I could and hope that she finds comfort in it in years to come.</div>
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She's a determined one. She doesn't really fuss when she has tummy time. And her lifts are higher and higher with each attempt.<br />
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These boys. They adore her more with each day.<br />
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She loves her mama and her mama loves her. If my arms had the strength to hold her all the live long day, I would.<br />
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All the sweetness. Nursing has been so much more smooth than with the boys. The trials I had with the boys were hard but worth it, and now here I am with a sweet nurser who has been gentle in a way that my heart needed.</div>
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Daddy and I had a date night. Our first since she was born, maybe? Can't remember exactly! Oops! See, this is why I need to do these things quick! My memory is already failing me!<br />
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Uncle A and Aunt Bekah came to meet you! Twas beautiful!<br />
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Lots of time outside on mama's favorite bench while your big brothers scampered around battling dragons, climbing, and playing sports.<br />
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Dandelion took a road trip! We joined the beautiful, Jenny, from The Littlest Way to a conference for Texas Catholic Bloggers. As much as it was surreal to be surrounded by such beautiful and gifted women, I have to admit that it was the most physically challenging post-partum endeavor I have taken on thus far. Sweet girl was having a growth spurt and nursing round the clock and my post-cesarean body was apparently needing some more rest time.<br />
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It's funny how that happens. She had been the most docile little one we've met to date. But that weekend, away from her daddy, brothers, and home, she revealed to me her awareness of our little family. I'm pretty sure our sweet one, as much as she loved being held and snuggled by so many amazing bloggers I'm thankful to call friends, missed the men in her life. Not something I had planned for nor had I prepared for the need to rest more than what a day filled with fun and fellowship would entail. Either way, by God's good grace, we were there and it was good. ;)<br />
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I have to say, being surrounded by women who make the internet an incredibly good place was inspiring. Their work, their words, their hearts, and presence are such gifts! God has truly blessed the good ol' www with many a talented, kind, thoughtful and brilliant heart that seek to share His Good and Faithful Presence in as many nooks as possible.<br />
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But, given my mind and heart were a little on the frazzled side, one of my biggest take-aways was the moment below. As much as my body ached for rest and home, the hands and hearts of my husband and boys ached to see their sweet little bundle of pink!<br />
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As soon as the boys awoke from their naps, they weren't searching for me, as much as they did miss me, they were searching for their sister. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and will keep in my heart forever and ever and ever. Amen.<br />
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Brilliant and beautiful, these ladies are! Truly!<br />
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This may have been around 1 in the AM. I hadn't put my nighty on yet but still did have this sweet girl to snuggle and nurse.<br />
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This fourth month surrounded our sweet Dandelion with lots of love, dragons, family goodness and family crazy.<br />
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And through it all, we still have to pinch ourselves to realize the gift of love that God has shared with our family through this little girl.<br />
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Dandelion's fourth month was adventurous and good. She is beautiful, feminine, and all things lovely. She's chatty and smiley and loves people (especially her people). Healthy, thanks be to God, and growing as God has intended, one day at a time. </div>
<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-13684459091562933742016-11-21T11:55:00.000-06:002016-11-21T11:55:29.627-06:00childhood // three months of dandelion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is the first baby I've not regularly blogged about. She fills my Instagram account with her joy, sweetness, and laughter, but I've not kept up with updates here on the blog.</div>
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Something has been a bit different this time around. I'm not sure if it's because, for a moment, I wasn't sure either of us were going to make it out of that operating room or maybe because there's something about the sweet treasure that she is calls for a degree of hiddenness. I also had a hard time healing from her birth that really had my head in a place that needed all the space I could share with it, not to mention we all got sick in this month where I trailed off on her updates. Goodness, so many possible rationales, that ultimately all played a little part in the <i>why </i>of me not getting to sharing our gift in this space.</div>
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I've thought about how much I love going back and revisiting the boys posts so I'm going to make it a point to go down memory lane for the months that I failed to update on her little to-do's and get them posted. If it's not your thing, I get it, but if it is, I pray that you get to experience a little <i>Dominus Est</i> moment that leaves you feeling a little lighter and encouraged that God is still present, working, and oh-so-good.</div>
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Y'all, our little family has such a gift in Dandelion! Only a good and wonderful God could have knitted such a joyful spirit filled with smiles, snuggles, so much goodness, and laughter.</div>
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So on I go, recalling our little lovely and all she shared in her third month.</div>
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Firstly and most beautifully significant, you were baptized. Loved ones came to celebrate this wonderful occasion. Our time was filled with so much beauty! God is good, Mother Church is beautiful, and you were welcomed in just as you are, giggles and laughter abounding. <span style="text-align: center;"> </span></div>
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Your baptism truly was a wonderful time. Your Godparents are amazing and incredible examples of Christ's love and goodness and we couldn't be more happy to have them be a part of our little family in such a special way.</div>
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Now onto the little things:</div>
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You shared lots of sleepy smiles, milk-drunk smiles, and real smiles. This was a skill of hers that she had down-pat pretty quickly!</div>
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Her brothers asked to hold her every chance they could.<br />
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<i>They love you, dear. They love you so very much.</i><br />
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She was the sweetest little sleeper. In the sleep department during this third month, you were such a treasure, sleeping anywhere from 7 to 9 hours at a time - at night! I can't tell you how healing that was for me. Especially since mama had a much harder time healing from this cesarean than the two previous!<br />
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All the snuggles. All. the. SNUGGLES!<br />
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...and giggles. The sweetest sound!<br />
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...and that little tongue of yours liked to find its way out during giggles and smiles. It was pretty cute!<br />
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Your brothers were both so fascinated by you and after having you around for three months informed me that they wanted many more babies in our family!<br />
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You enjoyed a simple bench swing with mama while watching your brothers play at the park. You also loved a good rocking to sleep in our rocker.</div>
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We attended a Gala. You wanted much of our attention throughout and made sure not to go to sleep the entire <i>three</i> hours we were there! I guess you didn't want to miss any of the action.<br />
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You met Uncle A and Aunt Bekah. They love you, baby girl. They love you a lot and you thoroughly enjoyed loving them too!<br />
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Unfortunately, a vicious stomach bug ran through our house. Soon after your brothers fell victims, I, too, came down with it. It was awful and I tried my best to nourish you and keep you healthy but it was a strong one that made it's way to you.<br />
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It was awful to see you unwell. You had fever, got a terribly stuffy nose + congestion that made it hard for you to breathe, and some tummy troubles (but not as bad as everyone else, thankfully.)</div>
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Though, despite you being unwell, you naturally shared much goodness and joy with all around.<br />
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...your smiles and giggles were still constant and one could hardly sense any fussiness.<br />
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Thankfully, you nursed well through it all. We made one trip to the ER because your breathing was so labored and had the best treatment.<br />
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Soon, all was well. Nana came to help and give me a little reprieve because dealing with that nasty virus + tending to all three littles was more than my healing body was ready for.<br />
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We rested our way back to health and all was well again.<br />
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You got to get in a lot of snuggles and fun with Nana.<br />
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We even took a little trip to a nearby shopping center to walk around and get some fresh air.<br />
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While Nana was here, Daddy and I snuck in a date night and it was good.</div>
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Little love, you continued to amaze us in your third month. Since you were born, your strength and goodness have been such a blessing to my heart, to our family, to our extended family, and to all you've met. Your sweet temperament is a gift from Above and we couldn't be more grateful for how you love us!</div>
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Sweet girl, you embody these words from St. Teresa of Calcutta:</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">“Let anyone who comes to you go away feeling better and happier. Everyone should see goodness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile. Joy shows from the eyes. It appears when we speak and walk. It cannot be kept closed inside us. It reacts outside. Joy is very infectious.”</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">- St. Teresa of Calcutta</i></h3>
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It's pretty amazing, really. And I pray that I, and your family, always help nourish and keep that sweet little light radiating all the days of your life. Love you, baby girl!</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-33271922713578419742016-10-28T15:25:00.001-05:002016-10-28T17:19:45.315-05:00{#write31days - day 28} silence and stillness<h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">In the present moment, life happens. It happens always. Diligently and gently, abruptly and surprisingly, moving us forward into each next breath we take. On we go, sometimes passively and sometimes actively. Our heart keeps beating and our body keeps warm as our soul seeks new ways to know, love, and serve the good God who knitted together our very intricacies at our very beginning.</span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">It's hard to always be present. It's hard to always seek His Face in our moments, much less, in the few moments of silence that scatter themselves throughout our days.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">I'm sitting in my silence right now. <i>I know! Miracle of miracles that all three little souls are asleep right now! at the SAME time!</i> And yet, sitting in this little space of what looks and feels like silence, I look around and do not see a stillness, even though nothing is moving; nor do I hear a silence even though my little people are not being their typical roudy selves.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Instead, I see the strewn legos across a table, scattered battle gear, baby teething toys, dishes uncleaned, a whirling fan, curtains that sway, a dinner that isn't going to make itself, and work to be done...because there's always work to be done, isn't there?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">But all <i>is</i> still and silence <i>does</i> surround me.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Silence and stillness are two occasions of life that my little soul has often pursued to know better. My interest began while in graduate school. There was this time I went to adoration with a priest friend. This priest was one of my classmates in a mental health program wanting to learn more about how to better shepherd his flock. Any who knew or know him now are truly blessed.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">While we were on our way to adoration, I remember telling him how much I loved the chapel because of the reverent silence that was often present. I yearned for silence in those days as I still do, today. "It's what keeps me sane and prayerful!" I told him.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Upon sharing my sentiment, my dear priest friend looked at me and shared that he couldn't relate to that kind of silence. See, he is one of a handful of Deaf Catholic priests in the US and the concept of silence means something entirely different to him.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">He shared that for him, silence was stillness. He appreciated the chapel because of it's stillness. Being Deaf, he hears with his eyes the same way I hear with my ears. This information was profound to me then and still is now. It is an awareness that I know my heart will constantly be unraveling in years to come, thanks be to God.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Stumbling into my nap-time silence today, brought me back to that time, his words, and a new awareness that stirred my soul many moons ago. I'll never forget that conversation or that experience of adoration. I remember how profound the stillness and silence felt that day. It was pouring rain outside. The sounds of the beating drops against the beautiful stained glass of this quaint little chapel is forever etched in my heart. That day, there was silence and stillness only not around me, but within.</span></span><br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"In the silence of the heart You speak </i></div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">In the silence of the heart You speak</i></div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">And it is there that I will know You</i></div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">And You will know me</i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Over the years that have passed, what I've noticed, is that no matter what is going on around me whether it be silence or stillness, peace happens when the goodness of stillness and silence are present within my soul.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Stilling my soul is where He meets me; where I can see His Face and know His Presence. It <i>is</i> where He speaks and shares His Truth, Goodness, and Beauty. No matter what is going on around me it is my interior that matters.</span></span></div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">“We live in a society in which every space, every moment must be ‘filled’ with initiatives, activities, and sounds. Often there is not ever time to listen or to converse. Dear Brothers and Sisters, let us not be afraid to create silence inside and outside ourselves if we wish to be capable not only of hearing the voice of God, but also the voice of those near us, the voice of our fellow man.”</i> </blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">Finding the right time to pray, to be Mary or to be Martha, to serve, to study, to embrace the ordinary moments, to move, or to be still can all be so confusing and frustrating. No time feels like the right time because there is always sound and there is always movement. But, if we dig down deep and strive to quiet our hearts so that He can stay with us awhile in our interior stillness and silence, the peace that comes is truly good and beautiful.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>Babies are up now, but I'm curious:</i></span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>What does stillness sound like to you? What does silence look like? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days</a></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="http://revolutionoflove.com/weekly-writing-in-october-2016-link-up-week-4/">revolution of love // october weekly link-up</a></span></i></span></div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-31117544344230855742016-10-18T10:28:00.004-05:002016-10-18T16:37:46.856-05:00{#write31days - day 12} beauty and restOur days have been filled and good. Time keeps ticking on by and the kids keep growing in their little kid ways. While I, their mother, keep diving into the ocean of little things and big things that keep my heart growing and stretching.<br />
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It's been hard keeping up with this #write31days challenge! I'm not sure what I thought would happen or how it all would go down once I decided to jump in, but finding the time to write write write has been more challenging in this season of life because my babies just don't keep and they just need their mama.<br />
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It's not a bad thing. I'm thankful. Thankful for all of it! I'm enjoying this season - busyness and all. I'm loving the gifts I have in these little ones who are growing into big ones all too quickly, loving my husband and where we are, and just thankful for what this year has brought us through family and friends, homeschooling and our day-to-day, but most especially through Faith in Him.<br />
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This space has always been a sort of scrapbooking/journaling type place for me. It's how I started. I wanted to keep family in touch through photos and words. Then it sort of morphed a bit more into a spiritual journal because that's where my mind naturally wanders. I like where my little blog is now and know that it's not done growing and changing, which is exciting.<br />
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But what keeps me coming back to this space anytime I have a spare minute? Even when I get away from it for weeks or months at a time?<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>Beauty and Rest.</i></span></h3>
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You see, Beauty has always drawn me closer to Him. Anytime I feel myself getting lost in all the tragedy and sadness and suffering in the world I get the tug to return to Him in my present - I feel the tug to seek His Beautiful Face where I am.<br />
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In the present, His Beauty is easy to rest in.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"And he said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a lonely place, and rest a while."</i></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Mark 6:31</span></h3>
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Similarly, when life gets to feeling like chaos, my soul yearns for rest and stillness. Writing here meets that desire. Here is where I get to sit with my thoughts and my heart and just be, which is so good for my little soul. </div>
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So even though I've missed a number of days for this writing challenge, I've been able to further discern why I still want to keep writing along through my days of good and days of challenge. This space brings me back to His Beauty and truly lets me rest awhile with Him in His Word, His Beauty, prayer, and the gift of the wisdom of the holy men and women who have gone before me.</div>
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All these things that get wrapped up in this little blog of mine keep me seeking my <i>Dominus est</i> moments through presence, words, photography, and grace upon grace upon grace. I love capturing my little moments that help me see His Presence in little ways throughout my days. I also love sharing those gifts. Social media and the internet can easily become a black hole of all the suffering that exists, and while suffering has it's place in this world, it certainly is not all that this world has to offer, by a long shot! I like to think that I'm just doing my little part of countering all the emphasis of sin and disorder through my random experiences of grace that allow me to see beauty and order a midst my days filled to the brim with life.</div>
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<i>Dominus est</i> moments // lately:</div>
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Dandelion will be 10 months this October. She continues to blossom so very beautifully with each new day.</div>
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Bigfoot has turned into quite the climber. He loves being outside running barefeet, exploring with his brother and neighborhood friends, and playing anything sport related.<br />
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Sundays have been good around these parts lately. There was a time that they felt so stressed filled with a need to get all the things done, but lately they've been filled with some pretty good rest, family time, and goodness.<br />
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How she loves him and food! I adore watching their relationship grow.<br />
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Family movie nights have morphed into family game nights and we are loving them! I haven't laughed as hard as I did when we played charades the other week. So good, so fun, and so welcome.<br />
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Fall is here and so is my want for warmth (even if it is still hot outside!). This chicken soup with sweet potato noodles was a delight!<br />
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Rainy days are for painting. <br />
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Our resident artist, Linus, is still creating with anything he can get his hands on. Do you see the little face?<br />
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She waits for him, everyday. She goes to the door waiting for her daddy to get home and when he does, oh my goodness does she L I G H T up! It's a stunning moment filled with so much joy and excitement, it literally gets me <i>every</i> time. If only I could wait on Him this way!<br />
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Our most recent family snap! All five us. This photo just makes me smile.<br />
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Beauty and Rest. Rest and Beauty. These two things will keep me coming away a while to this little space of mine. These two things will keep me resting in my Lord who calls me to rest as well as sharing the beauty my heart finds. My hope is that in some small way, you too will be encouraged to find Him in your present because it is there, my dear friends, that He is waiting to reveal to us His Love, Peace, and Presence as well as His Beauty, Truth, and Goodness.</div>
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<i>I'm writing for 31 days in October. Click on the image below to see what else I've had to share on <a href="http://www.thesideoflove.com/p/the-gift-of-present-moment-is-often.html">the gift of the present moment</a>.</i></div>
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<a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days</a></div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-42843851347150445442016-10-11T23:48:00.000-05:002018-01-30T14:20:24.252-06:00{#write31days - day 11} if you knew the gift of GodAs much as I'm not a morning person, something I know I grumble about <i>way</i> too often on this little space of mine, there really is something so beautiful and revealing about that golden light that quietly creeps into our hearts to help us begin again.<br />
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Whether we are stirred by an alarm, a child playing, a baby wanting to nurse, or that golden light, all are calling us into a reality that is filled with gift.<br />
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Jesus told the Samaritan woman so very long ago, <i>“If you knew the gift of God..." </i>(John 4:10). I've always been struck by those words. It's a brief part of scripture that pierces my heart. It makes me feel as if I've locked eyes with my lover in a way that makes me want to read right past it because there is so much weight and love and goodness in those seven little words I can hardly bear it.<br />
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Christ's words are beautiful and filled with love and tenderness! <i>If I knew the gift of God? </i>Can you imagine if we truly knew the gift He has for us in our present? Hearts, eyes, souls, minds, and all that we are to be truly open to what He wants to share with us because He <i>is</i> a God of Love. And, if I know anything, where there is love there is gift, always.<br />
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But how often do I respond just as the Samaritan woman did; talking past His words, continuing on as if I heard nothing, saw nothing, knew nothing of whom was right in front of me the entire time! Rambling on my way through all of His Teachings, through all of his Goodness and Beauty, is probably where you'd find my mind. I would be talking pragmatics when He would be trying to give me Living Water. He would be trying to nourish my soul while I would be walking away, fighting a love that I was designed to behold.<br />
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And yet, in His abounding kindness, He let her ramble. He did not just leave her in her logic, rather, He revealed Himself to her and shared an incredible gift, the gift of Himself.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">"The woman said to him, "I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ); when he comes, he will show us all things." Jesus said to her,</span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"I who speak to you am he."</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-John 4:25-26</span></h3>
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In the mornings, through my fogginess and exhaustion, I think ahead to my day or I get onto my children for doing <i>x</i>,<i> y</i>,<i> </i>or<i> z</i> things they aren't supposed to be doing so early in the morn and I get lost. All that the day holds for me bombards my senses leaving me frantic rather than filled with excitement and peace. These ambitious efforts of wanting to always have this idealistic experience of love and order for myself and all around me weigh my heart down. Within moments, I've lost sight of that golden light that quietly called me to be still. That sweet, gentle glow filled with warmth and purpose that beckoned my soul to start anew in the warmth and order of the beginning of a <i>new</i> day. </div>
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That light calls me each day to begin anew. It reminds me that today truly is new but that doesn't change the fact that I need to still choose to rise and respond to His Presence and how He tries to reach me.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><br />"He took the child by the hand and said to her, “Talitha koum,” which means,</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>“Little girl, I say to you, arise!”</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Mark 5: 41</span></h3>
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So then what should I do? Knowing all of these things, I need to let my soul whisper the <i>fiat </i>she so much wants to shout, take His Hand, and arise again and again, knowing that He is holding me all the while through the gift of my <b>beating heart</b>.</div>
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<a href="http://revolutionoflove.com/weekly-writing-in-october-2016-link-up-week-2/">weekly writing in october // revolution of love</a></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-44110920864494533632016-10-10T00:30:00.000-05:002016-10-12T00:30:41.988-05:00{#write31days - day 10} songs that keep me present<div style="text-align: left;">
No words needed for this post. I just wanted to share these songs that I have on repeat while I sit in front of my computer or need to be brought back to my present. There are others, but these are the ones that were on rotation today. God bless!</div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-8567453027365861872016-10-09T23:33:00.000-05:002016-10-12T00:31:11.885-05:00{#write31days - day 9} dominus est momentsYou know those moments that stop you right in your tracks? The ones that seem to still time because they are filled to the brim with wonder and love and gift?<br />
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It's amazing how these little moments can make your heart smile because there's nothing else for it to do but just smile. These same moments also have a way of expanding and stretching you in ways you didn't know you needed but will be forever grateful for.<br />
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Moments that share glimpses of His Face are so very good. I love how Love has designed in us an innate desire to seek Him in all things. We were created for Him and if we just let go, there we will find him, always...if we <i>just..let..go</i>.<br />
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I know you know the ones I'm talking about. We all have them. They form us, move us, encourage us, hold us during times of struggle or sadness, keep us present, and spark in us a want for more.<br />
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Dominus est. <i>It is the Lord</i>. It is He, and always He, revealing His beautiful and good Divine Nature so that we may better understand how to love, know, and serve Him.<br />
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My Dominus est moments have looked like this lately:<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"The present moment is always full of infinite treasures, </i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>it contains far more than you have the capacity to hold."</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J.</span></h3>
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<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-53820799671123705202016-10-08T23:49:00.000-05:002016-10-12T00:31:25.337-05:00{#write31days - day 8} getting behind<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm a week in to my #write31days challenge and I'm already getting behind. I'm getting behind on posting and feeling behind on just having something to say.<br />
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Honestly, if you were to meet me, you would come to find that I'm a woman of not so many words, <i>unless</i> the topic tugs at my heart strings. If I get the tug, I get all kinds of chatty and then mull over it in my head and heart for some time there after.<br />
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The gift of the present moment is a topic that is near and dear to me for so many reasons, but finding the time to write the posts that require more time and thought has proven to be difficult day after day.<br />
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My present moments these days are filled with an adorable teething and very mobile 9 month old, two boys that get their superman energy from only God knows where, homeschooling, making meal upon meal upon meal, family time fun, family time hardships, and everything else in between.<br />
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Admittedly, I don't always use my evening down time to blog. Once evening rolls around and the kids are <i>actually</i> asleep, I sit and just want to be still. I want to be next to my husband and not think because I know Dandelion is just moments away from needing me just one more time for the night.<br />
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And yet, writing in this space shares such a peace and goodness with me, and I pray, with you too. It's my little outlet to share the grace-filled moments I'm able to witness beauty and goodness in my own little life, with the hope that you will be encouraged to see Him in the little ways too.<br />
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Alright. Evening has rolled on past me once more and my bed is now calling my name. I will try again tomorrow because today has already passed.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">Everything is the hand of God. Earth, air and water are God's. His action is more widely extended, more present to you than the elements. It enters you by all your senses, provided you only make use of them according to his design..."</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J.</i></h3>
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And, to share the present moment of this post, I'm not actually off to my bed, but rather my baby who has stirred once more for the night!</div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-73737766745619200552016-10-08T18:51:00.002-05:002016-10-08T18:51:40.231-05:00{#write31days - day 7} gifts of summer - part 2<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
After a high risk pregnancy that kept us close to home and a hospital late last year, we had some traveling to tend to. Family had yet to meet Dandelion and others hadn't seen the boys in quite a while.</div>
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It was so nice to share our family with the family that I and my husband grew up with - the same ones who loved us through all of our growing. The ones that saw us from early infancy through to young adulthood all the way through to our present. These family members have blessed us abundantly in more ways we'll ever be able to calculate, but it is an abundance we can assuredly call gift.</div>
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Personally, I can remember all the ways my aunts and uncles loved on me always, how my cousins and I played every Sunday at our grandparent's houses, sleepovers, birthdays, etc, and how my grandparents were always there to greet me with a hug filled with a love so true - all these memories and more are what have helped form me over the years in so many silent ways. These kindnesses have helped carry me. I know they've prayed for me through all of my transitional points in life and I know this to be true through their words, letters, and embraces shared every time I went home. It's a beautiful thing to see this good and kind love now shared with our littles and my husband.</div>
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Similarly, I love how our kids are so adaptable and ready to love. They enjoy their grandparents the most, but love them some time with aunts and uncles, great-aunts and uncles, second cousins and more. The kids always seem ready to play, explore, enjoy, and embrace the gifts that God has shared with us through so many people.</div>
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To follow are the moments of gift I was able to capture. There were so many more pictures I had in mind to take but unfortunately didn't! I can remember Dandelion meeting various loved ones for the first time, and regrettably, I didn't have my camera with me or failed to remember to snap the photos when I did. Either way, I did capture some moments of beauty and goodness and there is gift there too!</div>
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To close I'll share this beautiful quote from <i>Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i>:<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"I shall not count the hours nor the ways of thy approach, dear Love:</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">thou wilt always be welcome."</i></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J.</span></h3>
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<br />Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-33578642720048880962016-10-07T12:11:00.001-05:002016-10-07T12:11:27.080-05:00{#write31days - day 6} gifts of summer - part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Taking trips with littles can be tough stuff. Even still, you'll never hear me regret a travel that we took to meet with the gift of family.</div>
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God has shared some pretty beautiful people with our little family and any moments we get to steal with them is always such a blessing.</div>
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Admittedly, I was pretty exhausted on this trip. Dandelion has had a tough go with cutting teeth, a go that started around this time over the summer. </div>
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And once we got home, it was go time even still. We jumped straight into homeschooling, a last minute trip for a death of a loved one, more teething, more homeschooling, and life.</div>
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Being able to look back on all the gifts we had in so many little moments over the summer has shared a peace and goodness with my heart today. Thankfully, I caught some moments with our camera and, in turn, have some pretty strong evidence of His Goodness in our life!</div>
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For some reason, I was meant to be in a sleepy stupor during most of this trip. Either way, I'm thankful that I was still able to have a time filled with blessing from all around. Our family helped me when they could by letting me sleep in or steal an afternoon nap, taking the fussy baby if she had been with me for any length, tending to the older two and making sure they were having a beautiful time filled with laughter and fun, asking how I was, sharing amazing food, making sure I had a margarita in hand after putting the baby down for the night, and even changing some stinky diapers for me.<br />
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Through this and so much more, I was carried.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"You are seeking the secret of belonging to God, dear souls? There is no other than to make use of everything which God gives you. Everything leads to union with God, everything perfects you, except sin and what is outside your duty; all you have to do is to accept everything and let God act. Everything directs you, keeps you straight and carries you along."</i></div>
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<i>-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J., Self Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-5695165572494660972016-10-05T16:14:00.002-05:002016-10-06T17:59:21.113-05:00{#write31days - day 5} what are we waiting for?<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"Come then, beloved souls, let us run, let us fly to this ocean of love that calls us.</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>What are we waiting for?"</i></span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, <i>Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></span></h3>
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There was a hay-maze at the pumpkin farm we visited this past weekend. I love how the boys eyed it down and then quickly got to work with such abandon.<br />
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Casually they walked through. Spy those hands in pockets? Side by side they adventured.<br />
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Our fearless leader took charge without hesitation. He continued to lead us through and any time he met a dead-end, he just turned around and kept going. Wonderfully, his trusty side-kick of a brother encouraged and cheered him all the way through.<br />
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Finally, the end was in site. The path had been made known and seeing how excited these two were to complete the giant maze was full of gift.<br />
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See that side-tilt-yah-I-just-did-that-I'm-so-awesome face below?</div>
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Front view with hands still in pocket.<br />
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They went through the maze with such confidence, seeking fervently for the end. I loved their sense of adventure. They didn't wait around at the entrance to begin, to move forward. They entered and kept their eyes onward.<br />
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Similarly, when facing the Will of God, I wish I could enter into it with such surrender and trust! Nothing else in the moment but what's in front of me...always moving forward while keeping an inner peace of confidence in knowing an ocean of love awaits me every single time.<br />
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Instead of hesitation, confidence.<br />
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Instead of fear, courage.<br />
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Instead of anxiety, peace.<br />
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Instead of constant attempts at control, complete surrender and abandon.<br />
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What <i>are</i> we waiting for? Love awaits!<br />
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<a href="http://www.thesideoflove.com/p/the-gift-of-present-moment-is-often.html"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZsxOhgHFwYHSp2Iy502rr3MvpSDcYthEk-hh5S5hvTW-fXzDiI7jr-n2cr9MZHK2NiDDDpEaWDiFcQyBQiwqPMc8YkFQK8EuPlj-Toft8Gjx-OLCFu2Rs77riGwCJtqrpRhqZdqi5nwM/s320/31+days-.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days</a></div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-13315955830803157802016-10-04T14:59:00.000-05:002016-10-04T15:21:05.460-05:00{#write31days - day 4} captured giftsOver the weekend, we were blessed with family time.<br />
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For me, family time is always a good time. Time spent sharing love and joy. I see it in my kids; how they light up at every chance to see an uncle, a grandparent, an aunt, etc. They just L I G H T up!<br />
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It's a beautiful thing.<br />
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Funny enough though, as much as I love family time, I love celebrating the saints any chance I remember to/have the energy to/or have the mind to! There was a temptation over the weekend to get distracted in wanting to do something special or in particular for the Feast of the Archangels or the Feast of St. Therese, but that wasn't where His Will was for me or us, and that was good!<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">"The present moment is always the ambassador who declares the order of God."</span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J., <i>Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></span></h3>
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Love that wisdom! So simple, and yet, so profound!<br />
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As always, His Will and goodness were so much better than whatever little to-do I would have come up with because we were with the gifts we have in grandparents. Also, I know that in celebrating our time together as family these same saints and angels were celebrating our love along with us! And that my friends is so very beautiful.<br />
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Our present moments over the weekend were filled with so much goodness. One of the reasons I really do love taking photos is because it takes a snapshot of tiny gifts we have in those little moments, even the staged ones!<br />
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So for today I'll be sharing glimpses of His Love that we were blessed to experience over the weekend - moments captured by my good ole' camera.<br />
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As these photos were uploading, I was struck with how, in so many little ways, we <i>did</i> do things to celebrate these wonderful saints!</div>
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For starters, we loved on quite a few animals while at the pumpkin farm (Shout out to St. Francis of Assisi - Oct. 4). We were able to enjoy lots of little things such as all the hugs, kisses, snow cones, game night, snuggles, a new pair of shades, date night, <i>and</i> I even had time to finish the sweetest little crochet flower bonnet for Dandelion (Shout out to St. Therese of Lisuiex - Oct. 1). The boys went out and played battle, fully equipped with swords and shields (Shout out the St. Michael the Archangel - Sept. 29). And finally, the boys also did some major soaring on the swings out back (Shout out to the Feast of Our Guardian Angels - Oct. 2)! OH, and to round out such a fun and blessed weekend I think today is a great day to make that Michaelmas dessert I keep putting off!</div>
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Love how these little means of celebration were twined throughout our very good weekend with family!</div>
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Unexpected gifts in my present all throughout the weekend! Thankful for the time to sit with those moments captured by camera so I could see a little better how God was working His Love.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">What unexpected gifts have you captured lately?</i></h3>
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<a href="http://www.thesideoflove.com/p/the-gift-of-present-moment-is-often.html"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2bVKTcUpllSj2MWNxBnPjbEDNFyk1VDnifLPZ3nA3sfMnVDcKRmdCEm6zoT8OY_ryISM57SKAHsP8egBgj8AZOfZlGogFWMCByPvhRsK-nT18nWsubpInDyIdhDdVqJFw6HDeZC0oZZs/s320/31+days-.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>If your interested in more present moment reflections click on the icon above.</i></div>
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<a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days</a></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-9766818862126837192016-10-03T16:13:00.004-05:002016-10-08T18:54:32.713-05:00{#write31days - day 3} when we lean in to our path<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Over the years, there have been times of pain, tears, and confusion. I've asked <i>why?</i> and I've sat without answers. I've read book upon book, blog post upon blog post, and researched saint upon saint.</div>
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All this to try and make sense of my present. All this to try and make sense of His Will for me.</div>
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I have had moments of clarity, some more fleeting than others. The gift of the present moment is where I found those moments of clarity that were able to further make known the path that is always continuing to reveal His Will, Purpose, and Divine Nature to my little soul.</div>
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Thinking back to the moments of pain, when I was actually sitting in the disappointment and physical agony with a heart that saw nothing but the present filled with turmoil, I was able to see a God who serves and is ever present under any and all disguises.</div>
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By His Grace, and His Grace alone, in my darkest of times I have been able to see His Face through His faithful servants and my world around me. Moments of love revealed to me only through those painful moments that now amount to mere brief periods of my life.</div>
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Some of these painful times have left their mark and continue to remind me through an ache here or an ache there that <i>that</i> time is no longer and that the full weight of those trying times truly have passed. They have passed but they have also left little nuggets, little reminders of what was. This is good! I don't want to forget. I want to remember the times that I was blessed to be held by my Father because who knows what is to come!</div>
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But getting back to the gift of the present moment, there is nothing more truly humbling than feeling like your Savior is kneeling before you as He washes your feet through those who love you and know you in your time of trouble.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"At every occurrence we should say: Dominus est. It is the Lord; and in all circumstances we should find a gift from God..."</i><span style="text-align: left;"> </span></blockquote>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade, S.J. Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></blockquote>
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A family brought you a meal. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Someone offered to watch your kids so you could rest or sleep.<i> Dominus est.</i></div>
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Family came for a visit to share joy and love. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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You're at the hospital facing who knows how many unknowns surrounded by the faces of your nurses and doctors that are filled with kindness and gentleness. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Your son gave you a flower because he saw your sadness. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Your husband got up with your teething baby so you could catch a few hours of sleep. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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A stranger smiled at you as you passed by. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Your neighbor brought you some bread and wine. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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You just had your third cesarean and your friends text you, check up on you, visit you, and more. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Your dad calls you to see how your day is going. <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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Your loved one greets you with a loving embrace. <i>It is the Lord.</i></div>
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As many different scenarios I can list to share moments where He can be found, but <i>gee whiz! </i>how hard it truly is to still our souls enough to see Him!</div>
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I have had times of physical pain, all with their own troubles, and through each I have never felt so held, so loved, and so known. It may have taken some time to get to the point where I could honestly rest in my present but that's okay. He was still there waiting. I have had emotional pain and never have I felt so cared for, too. Through the moments of reprieve, the moments of friendship, the moments of breathing and stillness, and even in the moments of angst and struggle, there was gift. Through heartaches, sickness, sadness, pain, exhaustion and more, He is there just waiting to serve, to love, and to reveal Himself through His Mystical Body and through His beautiful and constant world of order and Truth.</div>
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When we lean in to our path and try to abandon ourselves to where we are, with the help of grace and the gift of the present moment, let us strive to see His Face. I guarantee you, no matter where you are or what is going on, <i>Dominus est.</i></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>How has He revealed Himself to you lately? Have you been more instrument, busy being His hands and feet? or, Have you been held by His good and faithful servants? Either way, how have you been able to find Him in your present?</i></span></h3>
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<i>(For more reflections on the gift of the present moment, click on the icon above.)</i></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://revolutionoflove.com/weekly-writing-in-october-2016-link-up/">Weekly Writing in October // Revolution of Love</a></span></div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-64844627173474356172016-10-02T18:57:00.001-05:002016-10-02T19:14:04.404-05:00{#write31days - day 2} during the course of the day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I'm not a morning person. I struggle. I'm tired. I'm a sleepy person who wants more sleep. I love comfort; hence my bed and my blankets all wrapped around me while I'm dressed in my most cozy sleepy clothes are where it's at!<br />
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Waking in the morning to be present to my husband, my little ones, much less my Lord and Savior, is something that I have to really struggle through on the daily.<br />
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Some have told me that after having children they became morning people. This has yet to be true in my case. In fact, I think I may have regressed in the department of mornings. There have been a few things that I have tried over the years and non have stuck probably due to my uber phlegmatic heart.<br />
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Writing this out, there is a temptation to get discouraged. I know I am called to know, love, and serve my Lord with every breath that I take from sun up to sun down, but I also know that He knows me and that He loves me where I am - sleepy eyed mixed with some grouchy and a cold cup of coffee because that's just my life. Well, that plus all the desperate aspirations whispered here and there.<br />
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He has met me over the course of these same sleepy years in many different ways, but none more than the gift of the present moment.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">"During the course of the day, try to keep yourself united to God either </span><i>by frequent aspirations and raising of the mind towards him</i>, <span style="font-weight: normal;">or </span><i>by the simple gaze of pure faith</i><span style="font-weight: normal;">, or, still better, </span><i>by a certain repose of the depth of your soul and of all your being in accompanied by a complete disengagement from all exterior objects of this world</i><span style="font-weight: normal;">. It belongs to God himself to show you which of these three methods you should adopt to unite yourself with him by the movement, the attraction and the facility which he will give you; for this union with God depends on the various states of prayer to which grace raises souls. Each of these states has its particular attraction; one must recognize one's disquiet or excitement, always gently sweetly, and peacefully, as St. Francis de Sales says."</span></h3>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span><span style="font-weight: normal;">-Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade, S.J., <i>Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></span></h3>
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After I read this passage, I thought, I can do aspirations! Aspirations and even simple gazes (thanks to images and icons around our home) are what my soul moves towards throughout the day any time I can settle into the gift of my present moment, no matter what that moment may be. I may not presently have a solemn quiet prayer time that looks like beautiful holiness (not saying that I shouldn't still strive for this goodness, it's just harder for me right now) but I <i>can</i> whisper, "Come Holy Spirit.", "My Lord and My God.", gaze here, gaze there, "God I need you.", "Lord, hear my heart.", "Jesus, hold me!" from sun up to sun down.</div>
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That whole paragraph is tremendously encouraging! I love how it acknowledges that God himself will show which of these methods we are each to adopt, too. Everything is gift, everything is grace, everything is the Lord, thanks be to God!</div>
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So whether my spiritual maturity moves its way into finding a quiet space to share my soul with my Savior or if I have one hand on my cold cup of coffee, one hand on trying to encourage my littles into a rhythm for the day that is good and serving, and my heart focused on trying for moments of conversation with the One who made me, as St. Julian of Norwich once said, "All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manners of things shall be well."</div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-31534797500152823792016-10-01T19:02:00.000-05:002016-10-02T19:06:55.765-05:00{#write31days - day 1} the gift of the present momentThe fan is on and sharing its<i> </i>soft <i>whirrrr</i> sound, the afternoon light is coming in from the sliding door near me, and all that is quietly swaying still finds a way of encouraging a beautiful stillness in a room that is presently surrounded by the hustle and bustle of our little family life. Computer is open, my breathing is rhythmic, and the noise of my fingers tapping on my keyboard comes and goes with the flow, or lack there of, of the words my heart manages to string together. This is my present and this is where I am starting this little series of mine.<br />
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See, there's this October challenge that comes along every year that, for the last three years or so, I have watched pass me by. For some reason, this year I'm not letting it pass. I'm taking a huge jump into the puddle that was made for me - the puddle over yonder just begging for me to create the biggest splash I ever did see. This challenge was started by a <a href="http://write31days.com/">home blogger named Myquillyn Smith from The Nester and now is hosted by Crystal Stine</a>. The challenge is to pick one topic that you decide to hone in on for the span of the month of October.</div>
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The challenge is great and something I'm excited about because I have not been writing in this space of mine for quite some time. I've felt these little heart tugs to just come and sit and type, but have yet to find my writing pulse that lets it all flow. With this little project, and lots of prayer and grace, I'm hoping to maybe jumpstart that little part of me.</div>
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Maybe it'll work or maybe I'm just meant to try, either way, <b>I'm here.</b></div>
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Often times, I'll share a quote. Often times, I'll share a photo. Often times, I'll share tidbits from my little life where I had the grace and gift to see His Face.</div>
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My quotes will come from the book, <i>Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence </i>by Fr. Jean Pierre de Caussade, S.J., and my photos and stories will come from my life because that is where my gifts lie.</div>
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<b>My topic is <i>the gift of the present moment</i>. </b>This goodness is something that has blessed me time and time again. It has blessed me in my suffering and it has blessed me in my joy. It has blessed me in my anxiety and it has blessed me in my peace. In all these areas and more, this gift has blessed me abundantly and I want to hone in on that more. I want to share the words that inspire me to be present and I want to share how He is always being made known where we are if we settle in just a little bit more with our eyes, heart, mind, and soul wide-open.</div>
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<b>So here goes nothing!</b></div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"There is no moment at which God does not present himself under the guise of some suffering, some consolation or some duty...<br /><br />Could we pierce the veil and were we vigilant and attentive, God would reveal himself continuously to us and we should rejoice in his action in everything that happens to us. At every occurrence we should say: Dominus est. It is the Lord; and in all circumstance we should find a gift from God."<br /><br />-Fr. J.P. de Caussade, S.J., Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence</i></h3>
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Thank you for any and all encouragement, prayers, kind words, and presence! I'll be sure to update this page with any and all new posts that I am able to get to so that everything can easily be found in one place. Other than that, please hop on over to the <a href="http://write31days.com/2016/08/inspiration-faith/">#write31days link-up</a> to see what others are sharing too!</div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-86715573128444133032016-09-21T15:46:00.000-05:002018-03-11T15:12:12.492-05:00the side of love // what i'm capable ofWhile mustering the good will, strength, and decisions filled with grace to share cheerfulness in our home doesn't always come easily to the sinner that I am; there are moments. Thanks be to God, there are moments!<br />
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Little by little each moment builds upon the last, each being filled with grace by the One who loved each of us first. My imperfect self, the instrument that is found in our home and family, wants to see amazing love all around my family and I in every moment. Realistic? Not so much. Truly though, I just want to see our children being loved as their Father in Heaven loves them! I want this for them all day/everyday - BUT, this instrument also does not want any troubles or hiccups, ever.</div>
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Truth is, days filled with perfection just can't be. Or, at least, not in this life. I pray for the grace that the hearts of those around me are still being filled despite me, because that's what I desire. I want the hearts around me to be held by all the little moments filled with grace, His Grace!<br />
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Moments of grace can be hard to see sometimes, but I know we all experience them. Those fleeting times filled with snuggles, dancing, smiles, embraces, chatter, play, flirting eyes, hugs, sweetness, serving, conversations that keep us close, and more. When I take the time to see the grace, despite my chaos, life feels more manageable.</div>
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Here in my present, moments are what <i>I'm</i> capable of. The present moment is where I am and; therefore, where I'm called to love. Whether I am ruining a moment by my own grievous fault or filling it with beauty, love, goodness, and truth, it's these moments that shape me, my family, and in a very teeny tiny way, the world around me.</div>
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Thankfully, <i>He is found in my present moment loving little me and those around me DESPITE my failings. Thankfully, there is grace that abounds. Thankfully, I and all I meet were created by a God who loves them more than we'll ever fully know. Thankfully, He works through ALL things. Thankfully!</i></div>
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When I think of being and doing all the things, my heart feels so overwhelmed and burdened into a stillness that feels like paralysis and short breathes but when I am able to bring myself to my present, that's where I can find Him holding me and nudging me along my little way. </div>
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His nudges are good and sweet and constant - just what I need during my highs and most especially, during my lows.<br />
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Are you familiar with the lows? The ones where you can't get outside yourself. The ones where you burrow into self, self, and more self. The ones where you lose sight of what it's all about amidst joy and amidst suffering. The ones where you can't see that there is something greater happening for the sake of His Glory and Goodness. Moments just seem to slip away and you're left wondering where they all went.<br />
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I know I do. In fact, I'm v e r y familiar with this place. </div>
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<i>BUT, I find joy and peace in knowing that whether I acknowledge that there is something greater happening or not, whether I live in that Truth or not, </i>He truly is being made known. </div>
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He is <i>always </i>being made known.</div>
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Christ didn't just share the joy and glory and goodness of His amazing Resurrection with us so that we could always live in that exhilarating moment. He lived His journey <i>first</i>. The one filled with moments. The journey filled with family, friends, growth, joy, sorrow, parables, fear, sadness, goodness, and hope. The journey of Love made known in all things was <i>His </i>first. Thanks be to God.<br />
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.”</i></h2>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord."</i></h2>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">-John 20:19-20</i></h2>
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That day He met his disciples in their fear. He met them in their moment and brought them so much joy <i>and </i>peace<i>.</i> Meeting them there was important to Him. How beautiful and encouraging is that?! He went to them, made Himself known, and loved them.</div>
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That day so long ago, His disciples needed their hearts to be awakened just as much as we need ours to be awakened today. We need our souls to be awakened not only to the Truth of His Victory so that we may rejoice but also to the Truth of every single one of <i>His</i> <i>moments </i>that amounted to a journey that revealed to us all that is true, good, and beautiful.</div>
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Moments matter. They mattered then when He journeyed to the Cross, and they matter now as we are seeking Him amidst our daily grind, thanks be to God!</div>
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Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-18098542717623931522016-09-04T16:01:00.000-05:002018-03-11T15:12:33.871-05:00the side of love // on silence and motheringThere was a time, while I lived in DC, that religious life was on my mind and heart. It was a small whisper that I know <i>I </i>wanted but a whisper that Our Lord would ultimately turn to silence, obviously. Nonetheless, it was a thought that I was actively exploring in my heart and through my prayers.<br />
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Our Sweet Lord appeased me, funny enough, by sharing this teeny tiny whisper with a friend of mine who encouraged me to join her on venturing out to see the Missionaries of Charity. Anxiously, timidly, and excitedly I went.<br />
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I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe a rush of understanding that this was the place He was calling me to? Maybe a feeling of <i>home</i>? Maybe overwhelming <i>peace</i>?<br />
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While I did feel many of these things, I didn't feel them the way I thought I would and had prayed I would. Though, because the Lord is good and all-knowing and uses all to His good and Holy Will, this experience was exactly what I needed and has bore much fruit not only in my single life but also in my present vocation as wife and mother.<br />
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For a little background, my friend and I visited with the sisters, saw their life and how they cared for the least of these. A kind sister, the sweetest and gentle of souls, guided and shared with us to her hearts content. This sister spent a number of years in the presence of the very saint that was canonized today - St. Teresa of Calcutta. I remember thinking how amazing it was that she got to spend so much time in the presence of a woman who was surely going to be canonized some day! Sister delightedly relayed bits and pieces of that life and my soul just quietly took it all in.<br />
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As we were leaving, Sister kindly gave a few odds and ends for us to take home with us. One small and simple thing she gifted me was a card that had two prayers on it; two prayers that I have kept close to my heart more than I ever thought I would in the years to come.<br />
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Being the introvert that I am, silence is a very desirable and good thing for my heart and my peace. For me, when I first read this prayer, silence was the romance that was spoken throughout my visits with Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. I truly romanticized any and all moments of silence. Christ was there in my present, loving me. The quietness that soothed my soul was time well spent but did not get me out of my comfort, but rather, nourished the very core of me.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer.</i><i style="font-weight: normal;">The Fruit of PRAYER is Faith.</i><i style="font-weight: normal;">The fruit of FAITH is Love.</i><i style="font-weight: normal;">The fruit of LOVE is Service.</i><i style="font-weight: normal;">The fruit of SERVICE is Peace."</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">-St. Teresa of Calcutta</i></h3>
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In contrast, there's St. Teresa of Calcutta, a woman's who's silence was something similar to mine but also very different. It was not only had during times spent in front of the Blessed Sacrament where her soul was nourished by His True Presence but one that also poured forth into her ministry to bless others with a beautiful and good love. Her SILENCE stretched all the way out into PEACE. Her soul did not stop at faith or love but moved out into SERVICE and finally a PEACE that surpasses all understanding. The very peace that stirred the souls around her - mine included.</div>
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I needed that awareness then as I do now, every day. The fruit of silence is not <i>only</i> had in front of Christ in an Adoration Chapel. No. It is and should also be had from deep within me as I encounter Christ in the least of these in my home, in my family, in my friendships, in strangers, in chores, in work, and in all I do. Silence starts from within if we let Him settle into the little nooks of our soul in hopes that prayer, faith, love, service, and peace will pour fourth into the gifts that they are, not only for ourselves, but for others too.<br />
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The other prayer that I wanted to share is what is on the backside of the Fruit of Silence prayer. This prayer took my heart by storm but not until I became a mother.</div>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">"Mary, Mother of Jesus, Be a Mother to me now."</i></h3>
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<i style="font-weight: normal;">-St. Teresa of Calcutta</i></h3>
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While in graduate school, my now husband and I came back into each others' lives to journey towards the vocation which God had called us to, marriage. Little did I know how much the backside of this prayer card would meet me in my darkest of nights.</div>
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You see, today I am not only called <i>wife</i>, but I am also called <i>mama</i> by three little souls. No name has ever been so challenging and humbling. Never have I felt the weight of another's soul more than since becoming a mama. This truth only God knew that my little soul would need while on my journey Home.</div>
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Truth be told, nothing could have prepared me for what motherhood has entailed. It has broken me and built me only to break and rebuild me again and again. It has brought me to my knees in ways I never knew possible.</div>
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10:00 PM (cue crying newborn) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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11:00 PM (Cue crying baby) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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1:00 AM (Cue wailing infant) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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3:00 AM (Cue scared and crying toddler) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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5:00 AM (Cue a child who has had a bad dream) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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7:00 AM (Cue children, ready to start their day) <i>Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.</i></div>
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On REPEAT.</div>
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When I say, darkest of nights, this is what I refer to. It's darker than dark in the middle of night, especially if it's your third, fourth, fifth, etc night of very little sleep. It's even darker when you know there is a beautiful soul calling you <i>mama</i>, tugging on your heart by simply asking for love, while all you can think of is needing/wanting more s l e e p <i>now</i>.</div>
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Never have I ever needed a mother more than while trying to mother my own children in the middle of the night on little to no sleep or during the day following said night. Never have I needed Our Lady to bring the prayers of my heart to Our Lord than while trying to love these precious gifts He shared with my husband and I. Broken and tired, I would get up, respond, tend, and try to love but not without pleading to be mothered myself first. </div>
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Today's newly canonized saint knew what it was to give of herself through the night until she felt like she could give no more. She knew and her heart formed these words together into what has been a balm and strength and comfort to my own mothering heart during my dark nights of trying to love those nearest to me. I felt held and loved by the powerful praying words of Our Lady as I tried to hold and love a snuggled up child given to us by her Son.</div>
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The beauty of Mother Teresa's heart and how she has shared it with the world truly are an everlasting blessing to all of us that are still soldiering on. I know her words will continue to form and encourage my own walk on this earth, which is exciting and truly gift - a gift that landed in my life in the form of a small and simple prayer card so very long ago.</div>
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Deo Gratias, for today's beautiful and newly canonized saint! Deo Gratias, for the goodness, truth, and beauty she has shared with the world! and, Deo Gratias, for all the ways her obedient and good soul has shared strength, perspective, and love to my own little soul that is still journeying on.</div>
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St. Teresa of Calcutta, ora pro nobis.</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4671879977639238835.post-38193674197019157342016-03-28T13:09:00.000-05:002018-03-11T15:13:05.228-05:00the side of love // claiming the good<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i>"Cheerfulness strengthens the heart and makes us persevere in a good life. Therefore, the servant of God ought always to be in good spirits."</i></span></h2>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><br />-St. Philip Neri</i></span></h2>
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Prior, the saints were so good at claiming His Truths and sharing wisdom with their words. That was their gift! They weren't random ramblers like I. So when I read St. Philip Neri's words, my heart leaped, rested in them, and tried to claim them. </div>
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In my efforts to claim Neri's wisdom and encouragement, I rambled in my own little rambling way which is now in the form of a <i>draft post</i> on my dashboard. After I got my rambles out, I decided that the best way I can claim my moments today, filled of cheerfulness and good spirits, is by sharing these moments of love that happened over our last month.</div>
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So here I am claiming my moments filled with cheerfulness and good spirits through my lens. It's what I have and I'm thankful for it!</div>
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Our precious napper.</div>
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It was somebunny's first Easter!<br />
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Family photo for the win!<br />
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These boys in all their awesome brotherness.<br />
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Seriously! I love their love for each other!<br />
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Days outside.<br />
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Big brother snuggles.<br />
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St. Joseph's feast day was hit.<br />
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Love this man and how he loves us.</div>
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Days spent doing what he loves to do - dragons and knights, knights and dragons.<br />
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Meanwhile, our little athlete enjoying the sunshine, sports, and racing his shadow.</div>
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The first time Linus held Dandelion was a sweet one.<br />
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<img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1YET-GEA2DUvGhYrO2oNZ6KA28LnWyimKiRqU3pWHHW3tl-WWrrRgzo9GRPTanp2T4mL-uv9jJ0GXf1r9AbcUKeZN4hypxev3igRVIYXmPA8ji3hum3VhHIId5j7tfB0xYz-p9NFtQOw/s640/IMG_20160315_112501.jpg" width="640" /></div>
Sweetheart was baptized and it was filled with all kinds of beauty and love.<br />
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<img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipir8B9wn96TcxEGmAwS-A_sf5sMVrjsSnUk1CUznS44Medet4GR_0C7xsrtuzrEWwDDucuGGUzJIbonc0eW2izSWv_OqXP1ZnZ7mA3sYGhQzUpkhGcowy6WvYKdQ81zjL-briVTQoksA/s640/IMG_20160313_132920_1-01.jpeg" width="640" /></div>
Gifts from family, friends, and loved ones have been generous and kind!<br />
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<img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCZCXT3tGQMPLCExyjfND5W3XYv2yqsdQKOe1o4aRcmogPsH44hk8fX4Ujjzp1Y5CLHA-gIp4ygoQStBDZhF9CsP6zS9gOGwaL8gOMnbCBUaz1gagA2vsqxYKWsgYIwBUvdnMQW0vsZpo/s640/IMG_20160311_113643.jpg" width="640" /></div>
Her smiles! Her giggles! So much good!<br />
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<img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX-6wtppyIRhy2oF1dHr5hgKd9UG4SjRgeFpS4ILLSSGKKuMbybX1KopLEXhd4krp4kX3kJLZP9YDTa2cZK1DjAwSItcl_W0akfoSb_KN3Po1mwyVR7itHcNu1VROTnr8AAKoUt5uzk38/s640/IMG_20160308_154600.jpg" width="640" /></div>
Rainy days are best together.<br />
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<img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuMjgBQBMOWrHUDFSUOqUXfwlP_IUGHFBfhTPBgWAXp5wtwQ-7B22iIJSDp5eMEX1-UkhjWg8SpwRTVwUZisjcjNHe5-ax9XjoT8nAHcb6Ai83Ijw-CdgD7Sv7cqXymArGKcb87128NXw/s640/IMG_20160308_112919.jpg" width="640" /></div>
Bigfoot is growing so quickly! This moment below, my husband and I thought the exact same thing...<i>he won't be small enough to pick up for much longer. </i>Oh. my. heart!<br />
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My happy place is definitely one filled with sunshine and snuggles.<br />
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Our sweet sleeper.<br />
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Park days have been the best!<br />
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Mama hasn't been experiencing her typical creative outlet of blogging but she has been crafting up a little comfy storm over here and loving it.<br />
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Milk drunk smiles.<br />
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A girl after her mama's blanket loving heart.<br />
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Open windows, cool breezes, and all the bugs this little container can manage.<br />
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More mama crafting fun!<br />
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More of our sleepy angel who has been such a treasure in this department. As much as I'm tired and physically achy from healing, regaining my strength, and wanting a bit more sleep, she really has been such a good sleeper!<br />
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Finished projects feel so good!<br />
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And this moment, this day, was definitely one of my favorites over this last month. She giggled every time he poured water over her head. It was the sweetest.</div>
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Happy Easter, friends! May your days be filled with little moments that share His Face and Goodness!</div>
Amandahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18162208045999030991noreply@blogger.com4