embrace the ordinary // like a child

Mama, let's read this book again.

Our friends! Can they come over? Are they coming over? Today? Tomorrow? the Next day? Again, please? 

Can we go to this place? Or that one? Again?

Drawwwww!....Mama, I wan drwaaaw, again!

This show, mama! I love this one! Can I watch it again? or this one? Again?

Let's play catch this morning! This afternoon? Tonight? Everyday, and all day!?

Let's go outside! Can we go? Again? Pleasssssseeeee????

The list goes on and on. The requests seem to never stop coming from their innocent and easily delighted minds.

Again. Again. Again! 

And then there's me. I grow tired of the constant requests. I say No more than I care for to some of the little things and to some of the big ones too. Again and again and again, and I'm always left wondering how they never grow tired of doing the same thing. Wanting the same thing. Loving the same thing. Delighting in the same thing.

Again.

Which makes me wonder what it is they are asking of me. You know? Underneath it all. When the outward appearance of the inward need gets pulled forth. That little big thing. What is that?

I could name it oodles of different things but what I always come back to, and feel it always comes down to, is will you love me in this way.

Again.

Will you love me with your time? Sitting here with me? Holding me and reading to me? The same book, the same way, you did it that one time that made my eyes light up? That way that delighted my senses and imagination?!

Will you love me with your effort? Sharing with me, getting down on the floor with me for this game, or feeding me? Not just physically but spiritually too? In ways that delight my soul? Showing me what service looks like? Again?

So I, too, can learn how to be love.

Will you love me through teaching me? Show me the world? Show me His Goodness? Again and again and again?! Expose me to beauty, to truth, and to all the things that make your heart make sense of the world around us? Show me all the ways that you delight in the world so I can have all the fun delighting in it too?

Will you love me in this way? Unconditionally?...Every time?...

I've been gifted these sweet little ones. These beautiful and good hearts. They love me. So much. They love me. Unconditionally. Good days, bad days, in between days, again and again, they love me.

And as much as I love them as unconditionally as my little mama heart can, my tainted soul that has lived this life does so imperfectly.

I imagine that's where the again and again and agains come from...maybe?

Either way, all of this just takes me aback. To be like a child really isn't so far from being an adult child of God. We are His Sons and Daughters. Always. He never stops. Never tires. He shows us. Patiently and sweetly. He meets us. Promptly and boldly. He hears our requests over and over and over again.

Because He who is Love, Loves us more than we'll ever fully know here in this world. He delights in us in all the little and big ways that a child so easily delights in all of the little and big things of their encounters.

And my boys. They come to me, my husband, and to our family and friends, with joy in their hearts with all of their requests bursting from their lips. As it should be.

As we were created to be. Will you love me like He loves you? Like He loves me?

I am not perfect. I don't meet their every need and never will. I don't always delight in the ways they delight or love them as well as I'd always prayed I would.

But then there's our Perfect Father. The One who loved us all before we were made known to our mother's womb. He is the One, the Perfect One that will meet my little ones where I lack. And He is the One who meets me, His daughter, any and every time I come to Him. Sharing my heart. Sharing the little whispers of my soul, again and again and again. He is the One who sees me, knows me, loves me and will be with me all the days of my life. Him.

He is the one that shares all the beauties and all the goodness of this world with my little heart, just the same way I pray I can share all of these bits of His Glory with my little ones, husband, family, and friends.

But these little ones - they teach me. Encourage me to get outside of myself - a place I can be found often. They encourage me to humble myself again and again and again. To become more like the sinner who is grateful for her beautiful Savior rather than just a sinner with no hope of truth, goodness, beauty, or delight. 

Embracing the little ordinaries of these little gifts in my life has done more good for my soul than I ever could have imagined. This road to sanctification is mine and it makes more and more sense to my soul, no matter how hard it can be for my flesh. This road to sanctification has taught me more about my good and loving Savior than I ever anticipated. How He loves me unconditionally. How He loves me like a child.

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” 

― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Again and again, they teach me. Again and again, He teaches me. Again and again, I'm thankful. And, again and again, I am shared another opportunity to know, love, and serve the One who delights in me most through the ones He has shared with me.

embrace the ordinary // a little love journey

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I sanctified you.”
-Jeremiah 1:5

Dearest Precious P,

Meet your family! Here we are just weeks before you were gifted to my womb from the One who loved you first. We are a little family of four and we all couldn't be more excited that you have made us a family of five. 

In fact, I had a mama-hunch. The kind that just moved my little heart to think there was something greater than I happening. I just knew you were with us - or would be soon. Your siblings had been praying for you. Especially your oldest sibling. How he's been waiting and hoping for you! Your daddy and I had held prayers in our hearts for a while before God decided it was time. Time for you! 

At first, I thought I'd take that pesky little pregnancy test on your daddy's birthday. I thought it would be the most perfect little gift I could share with him. Only, you weren't just yet ready to be revealed. 

Then, come Mother's day, I decided I'd check once more. I thought how sweet it would be for you to be made known to me on a day that honors the very vocation I spent years upon years praying for. 

Sure enough. I was right! You were here. With us. Your little family. 

I made daddy a card. He was completely unsuspecting and shed some pretty beautiful tears of Joy and Delight when he made sense of my drawings and words. I shared in his tears because when your given the grace to embrace a miracle, sometimes the only way our soul can express itself is tears. Not tears of sadness, necessarily. Not when there's a miracle! But rather of goodness and beauty and joy! Sometimes your senses just get overwhelmed by it all and there's nothing else to do.

Since that day lots has happened. We've shared with family and friends about your beautiful presence. We've shared your beating heart, time and time again. We've shared pictures of you every time we get a new one because we love seeing you grow. And we've shared moments. So many moments, precious one!

So many, I think it only right to show you all that you've been present for. Mind you, you may not be fully aware of all that is going on but I can surely tell you that those around you do know you are there and it's all kinds of wonderful. 

So let's start here. You were present when your brothers were dancing, bouncing, and playing around on another rainy. Mama knew you were there from various telling symptoms. Symptoms I can only be thankful for because they kept me present to you.

 Then there were family visits. You've been prayed for and loved by your grandparents.

 And great-grandparents! GG couldn't be more excited for you!

OH! And then there was your Uncle getting engaged to a wonderful woman.

 You were there with me while I snapped these photos.

You're brothers got some buzzy-cuts that everyone is a huge fan of. Not sure if you'll need this or not. Only time will tell. 

Daddy likes taking your brothers to a nearby wood workshop. Sometimes they stay and work there and others Daddy brings the supplies home to work here. There were loud bangs happening for sure.

And then there was your announcement. After sharing the gift of you with family and local friends we decided to share you with mama's friends through this beautiful online community she has been blessed with. Everyone is so excited and praying for us!

I started feeling your flutters pretty early. It's a thing with me. I felt your brother's flutter pretty early on too. We're about 10-11 weeks here. We traveled to a few beaches and saw some family as well as spent some vacation time with dear friends.

All those symptoms we were talking about earlier kind of hit mama hard this week as she wasn't used to the hustle and bustle of travel. Nor was I used to missing naps. But even though the week was physically trying, my heart was so full.

 I know you're going to love all these trips when we make them again once you're in our arms. Especially the beach. You'll love the beach. Everyone in your little family loves the beach and I'm glad I could share the sway of the ocean and all of it's grand sounds with you throughout the week. Just trying to give you a head start for some delightfulness that is to come, precious one.

You went to your first baseball game for your oldest brother's birthday. He turned four! Can you believe it? I still can't! He adores baseball and all things sports related.

 Donut cakes are his thing! Can't wait to find out yours!

We also spent some time with your youngest brother's Godparents and kiddos. We all had such a great time and guess what! You got to spend time with your new little friend. We don't know her name yet, but she is just a week older than you at this point. We'll see come y'alls birthdays if that will change at all or not.

 Here we are and there you are. My little precious bumpity bump.

 You're brother's love the water. Pray you do too! It's your mama's favorite place next to an adoration chapel.

 And look at you here. You'll come to see that your brother's are both jokers. I know they can't wait to share their goofiness with you. I also know they will absolutely love making you laugh every chance they get.

We spend a lot of time reading. It's a good snuggle time. Usually when we're all reading together, one or both of your brothers have a hand on your present home - my womb. It's pretty sweet.

 We all went to the theater for a movie. First time ever!

 Uncle Myke and Erin came over for Mousetrap. Lots of fun times ahead, precious one!

 We've spent so much time outside. Mama sipping on one of her favorite drinks while enjoying two of her favorite things - your brother's playing and enjoying each other and reading.

Lots of sunshine this summer. I'm a huge fan and know you will be. Your oldest brother would live outside if I let him. While your youngest brother has a knack for the arts. They're both pretty wonderful and I can't wait for you all to meet!

Precious one, this has been your journey thus far. It's been a full 20-weeks and now we have another 20 to go. Pray you're cozy. Pray you're feeling held. Pray you know the love we have for you. And pray that God continue to bless us with the grace to grow in love and truth as a family so that we may be fully prepared to share those same blessings with you, sweet one.

I'm thankful for your journey. The highs and lows. The constant fatigue, stretching, and growing. It's all good. It's all sanctifying. It keeps me learning and gaining perspective on life, love, truth, suffering, joy, and so much more. And I'm grateful.

Thank you for your presence. Can't wait to see where the rest of this journey takes us. Pray that God continue to hold us in His Perfect Love and Goodness, come what may.

i love you. every bit of you. so very much.

“I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful, that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do not lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished to be roses, nature would no longer be enameled with lovely hues. And so it is in the world of souls, Our lord's living garden.”

― Thérèse de Lisieux

embrace the ordinary // family

Twenty/52

Linus. 2. A character, full of charisma, and charm.

Bigfoot. Almost 4. Full of smiles, snuggles, and sweetness.

These brothers. Love when family visits, rough play, and climbing on grandparents.

Twenty-one/52

Bigfoot. Almost 4. Begs to be outside all day long and night/everyday, loves playing basketball with his daddy, grandpa, and uncle, and is impressively coordinated for an almost 4 year old.

Linus. 2. Likes to sing, play music on his new music box from GG, and is always content to play with his animal farm see and say.

These brothers. Family time is their favorite, throwing and catching big balls is always fun, and taking turns is a still a work in progress.

Lately we've been all about taking it easy, soaking up family and friend time when we can, and catching up on all the things we've gotten behind on with all the crazy Texas rain and the crazy busy month of April we had.

The month of May, aside from the overabundance of rain and now giant mosquitoes, has been so good to us! Now we're just hoping for more sunny days than the dark, dreary, stormy, wet ones we've been having and we'll be peachy (rather than madly stir-crazy!).

What was May like for y'all?

Embrace the Ordinary/These Wild Moments: Favorite

these wild moments // together

I had a cold a few weeks back that shared some fever and a nasty cough. I got better and was beyond relieved it seemed to have been only I who fell sick. Since then we've stolen time outside even despite the constant rain that has been bombarding us daily, whether it be in the nuisance form of on and off sprinkling or full on thunderstorms.

These little guys come alive while outside. Sometimes with a little encouragement, some truly fun exploring happens. These little moments that make up our days are the ones I love to snap a photo of, even if with my crummy android phone camera.

The little moments that are made of love, breathing, joy, exploring, and fun are the same ones that help me embrace and get through times that bound us inside indefinitely. 

My youngest has a cold now, and my oldest has mostly been acting sick to gain full access of all the snuggles, cartoons, and juice. Either way, I imagine it's only a matter of time he follows suit. 

When our kids get sick it's tough to embrace. We had so many fun plans this weekend but we've had to cancel all of them thus far. But as I told my oldest who has been pretty bummed about  not getting to see his uncle today after all, we are a family and we get through things together.

Together is where we are called during our highs and our lows in this season of littles and that is good. What better place to be than with each other when we aren't feeling well? With the very people who have had an otherworldly love for each other since birth or marriage in the case of my husband and I. Together. Loving each other with presence and encouragement.

We'll be up and about soon enough. But it's in times like these that it's okay to embrace our uber calm weekend that is focused on tending the very littlest of us, all the while tending to our home and one another. It's an opportunity for love and service, the very virtues that bind families in a goodness that makes us better not only for others, but for each other.

Any fun weekend plans over in your parts? Wild moments of love and exploration?

Share in the comments or link-up with Gina for Embrace the Ordinary and Aimee for These Wild Moments.

embrace the ordinary // sixteen & seventeen

Sixteen/52 - Throwback to Easter

Linus. 2. Was the most gentle when it came to cascarones, is obviously left-handed, has the softest hair on his sweet little head.

Bigfoot. Almost 4. Was pretty rough with the cascarones and absolutely loved cracking them on everyone's heads (most especially Dada's and Papa's), would rather live outside during daylight hours, is pretty stellar when it comes to all things sports.

Seventeen/52 - Weekend Getaway

Bigfoot. Almost 4. Has taken to wearing baseball hats, is a social butterfly who loves seeing his friends every chance he gets, when asking what's for dinner and I told him PB and Honey with veggie sticks (I'm sick :P) he asked, "What vegetable, mama? I want a vegetable, mama. mm..Broccoli?"

Linus. 2. Loves horses and carried this little horse around the entire weekend, loves looking for snails and always comes back with a handful of the tiniest little snails on any given play day, likes to sing and bob his head while doing it.

These brothers. Little by little the taunting from the older or younger is lessening, more and more they are chatting and cracking themselves up, and daily are teaching me about what it means to love.

Linking up with Gina for Embrace the Ordinary and Aimee for Finding Beauty because, right now, this is all I have to embrace in the form of a post - my little ordinary and my bits of beautiful. I've had so many posts swirling in my head and heart but haven't found the time nor brain power to type them out. I'm praying for His Time and for now, praying I get over this sickness that hit me on Friday. Also praying that no one else gets this because it comes with a pretty yucky cough. We all know how tough a junky cough can be with the little people and with the daddy's too ;) so if you would join me in this prayer I'd be so grateful!

embrace the ordinary // time

Time has been passing, our boys have been growing, our family has been living, and I have been learning. But, I haven't been blogging. In fact, I haven't even been sharing Project 52 photos even though I have been taking them. Our computer has taken a turn into major slacker mode and if there's one thing that deters me from computer usage is a slow as molasses computer. Even still, we've been making memories, spending time with grandparents and family, and just got back from a mini trip with friends.

Life lessons have been sprinkled throughout it all. I've been slowly but surely gathering myself time and time again. Lesson after lesson, failure after failure and success after success.

As I'm sitting here and as I was sitting last night all I could think about is that He has come, He has conquered, and He will come again. I'm trying to let this sink in. I'm trying to focus on hope. Hope is real. Hope for tomorrows made new is real. Hope for beginning again is what I'm trying to embrace. To let be my reality.

Because I do stumble as much as I do good. I am a mother and I am a wife. I am a daughter, a sister, and a friend. I have these sweet little souls that I want to teach, guide, and encourage. I want them to know all these truths that I'm trying to live. I want them to see how it plays out. I want them to see that the evil one never wins. No matter how much we struggle or fight. Christ has won and always will hold us safe in His Loving Heart.

Embrace the Ordinary

Hoping to find my way back to this little space of mine this week and beyond. For any and all who stuck around, thank you!!!! Our little family scrapbook that has me continually seeking beauty during good times and bad has been missed by me! So I'm excited. <3 p="">

finding beauty // just washing some feet

Where to start?? 

We had a few days of health last week quickly followed by myself and my youngest randomly getting the stomach bug. A 24-hour one, which was kind of thoughtful of the bug but the vomit. Oh the vomit. No thank you.

The stomach bug was followed by a few days of healing and getting our energy back only for my oldest to surprise us with an allergic reaction. The kind that comes with swelling and itchy rash along his mouth and chin. He hasn't had one since he was 10 months, when we first discovered there was an allergy. Since then we've avoided all things diary and lactose fairly well. And to be honest, I have yet to figure out exactly what triggered his reaction on Saturday. No thank you, again.

In turn I set up an appointment to follow up on the food allergy because we need to get to the bottom of this and bring on the investigation. The kind that will tell us exactly what does not sit well with the little guy. Appointments were made, plans were set, and we had steps taking us forward.

Only, he started feeling ill the day before complaining of stomach pain on and off. Struck a fever and complained of a headache by evening. Nurse triage encouraged us to aftercare and there we were. All the major scary things were ruled out - thank you! But, it's just a virus, was the diagnosis. No, thank you.

He has some lingering fever and fatigue, but hasn't thrown up since 4:30AM. We've had all the cartoons on all day while I do all. the. laundry and disinfect all the house. Again.

To the vomit and allergic reaction, I say No, thank you. To the whole of it, well, this is our season.

I'm thankful the stomach pain wasn't something crazy-serious. I'm thankful that the allergic reaction didn't warrant the kind that would have had us high-tailing it to the hospital. I'm thankful that the swelling and itching went down after a day. I'm thankful that even though there's been vomit, it really has been short lived.

Lastly, I'm thankful it's Holy Week. So many opportunities to grow in service and love over here. Knowing Holy Thursday is tomorrow helps. Knowing that Christ took the place of a servant so that we may know to serve has been encouraging. And knowing we are about to embark on the Holy Triduum brings me back to my present in a way that makes me feel alright.

On that note, let's enjoy those few days of sunshine I was able to capture prior to our umpteenth round of sickness!

These brothers enjoyed hunting for beetles, roly-poly, worms, and all other little creepy-crawly-critters.

With sport balls in hand, of course!

12/52 Linus sneaking a peek to see if there are any neighbors out and about.

12/52 Bigfoot doing what he does best. Playing ball.

The beauty of our live oak never ceases to amaze me.

13/52 Linus. 2. Brother see brother do. Gosh, he loves his big brother so much! And as much as they are so very different, their little similarities are sweet because they are grown out of love and admiration for each other.

13/52 Bigfoot. 3. "I want to be a priest, mama. I can be a priest. I can do it." Yes baby. God bless your path to your vocation. Whatever it may be, I know you'll be wonderful.

Bug-hunting and broom-swords.

These boys crack me up. Their personalities continue to grow and reveal themselves. It's beautiful, amazing, inspiring, and encouraging. I love them both and love their brotherhood.

So through yet another bout of sickness, I am doing my best at washing the feet of my sons and my husband best I can. Cleaning, snuggling, tending to, giving medicine when needed, washing, tidying, holding, comforting, loving and all the other little things with as little gripe face as I can.

PHFR/Finding Beauty/7 Quick-takes/Embrace the Ordinary/Currently