Tuesday, November 17, 2015

embrace the ordinary // like a child

Mama, let's read this book again.

Our friends! Can they come over? Are they coming over? Today? Tomorrow? the Next day? Again, please? 

Can we go to this place? Or that one? Again?

Drawwwww!....Mama, I wan drwaaaw, again!

This show, mama! I love this one! Can I watch it again? or this one? Again?

Let's play catch this morning! This afternoon? Tonight? Everyday, and all day!?

Let's go outside! Can we go? Again? Pleasssssseeeee????

The list goes on and on. The requests seem to never stop coming from their innocent and easily delighted minds.

Again. Again. Again! 

And then there's me. I grow tired of the constant requests. I say No more than I care for to some of the little things and to some of the big ones too. Again and again and again, and I'm always left wondering how they never grow tired of doing the same thing. Wanting the same thing. Loving the same thing. Delighting in the same thing.


Which makes me wonder what it is they are asking of me. You know? Underneath it all. When the outward appearance of the inward need gets pulled forth. That little big thing. What is that?

I could name it oodles of different things but what I always come back to, and feel it always comes down to, is will you love me in this way.


Will you love me with your time? Sitting here with me? Holding me and reading to me? The same book, the same way, you did it that one time that made my eyes light up? That way that delighted my senses and imagination?!

Will you love me with your effort? Sharing with me, getting down on the floor with me for this game, or feeding me? Not just physically but spiritually too? In ways that delight my soul? Showing me what service looks like? Again?

So I, too, can learn how to be love.

Will you love me through teaching me? Show me the world? Show me His Goodness? Again and again and again?! Expose me to beauty, to truth, and to all the things that make your heart make sense of the world around us? Show me all the ways that you delight in the world so I can have all the fun delighting in it too?

Will you love me in this way? Unconditionally?...Every time?...

I've been gifted these sweet little ones. These beautiful and good hearts. They love me. So much. They love me. Unconditionally. Good days, bad days, in between days, again and again, they love me.

And as much as I love them as unconditionally as my little mama heart can, my tainted soul that has lived this life does so imperfectly.

I imagine that's where the again and again and agains come from...maybe?

Either way, all of this just takes me aback. To be like a child really isn't so far from being an adult child of God. We are His Sons and Daughters. Always. He never stops. Never tires. He shows us. Patiently and sweetly. He meets us. Promptly and boldly. He hears our requests over and over and over again.

Because He who is Love, Loves us more than we'll ever fully know here in this world. He delights in us in all the little and big ways that a child so easily delights in all of the little and big things of their encounters.

And my boys. They come to me, my husband, and to our family and friends, with joy in their hearts with all of their requests bursting from their lips. As it should be.

As we were created to be. Will you love me like He loves you? Like He loves me?

I am not perfect. I don't meet their every need and never will. I don't always delight in the ways they delight or love them as well as I'd always prayed I would.

But then there's our Perfect Father. The One who loved us all before we were made known to our mother's womb. He is the One, the Perfect One that will meet my little ones where I lack. And He is the One who meets me, His daughter, any and every time I come to Him. Sharing my heart. Sharing the little whispers of my soul, again and again and again. He is the One who sees me, knows me, loves me and will be with me all the days of my life. Him.

He is the one that shares all the beauties and all the goodness of this world with my little heart, just the same way I pray I can share all of these bits of His Glory with my little ones, husband, family, and friends.

But these little ones - they teach me. Encourage me to get outside of myself - a place I can be found often. They encourage me to humble myself again and again and again. To become more like the sinner who is grateful for her beautiful Savior rather than just a sinner with no hope of truth, goodness, beauty, or delight. 

Embracing the little ordinaries of these little gifts in my life has done more good for my soul than I ever could have imagined. This road to sanctification is mine and it makes more and more sense to my soul, no matter how hard it can be for my flesh. This road to sanctification has taught me more about my good and loving Savior than I ever anticipated. How He loves me unconditionally. How He loves me like a child.

“Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separately, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we.” 

― G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy

Again and again, they teach me. Again and again, He teaches me. Again and again, I'm thankful. And, again and again, I am shared another opportunity to know, love, and serve the One who delights in me most through the ones He has shared with me.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

what I wore // a slow and good togetherness

Slow. Sunny. Cool. and Sweet.

Sunday has been nice.

Since the boys caught a virus the other day and one of them is a little on the coughy side, we decided to keep the little guys home from Mass. My oldest has been coughtastic, depending on the hour, and I really didn't want him having a coughing germ-fest next to the dear old woman or next to the family of littles while at Mass.

Which brings us to the hubs and I. We were able to go to Mass one at a time. As much as I would have loved for us to go together, going individually was nice too.

Some nice stillness. Some good presence. and More chances to quiet the soul in ways I know I am capable of, all the while trying to grasp a little bit of grace to embrace today's scripture and all the words that were being tossed out in hopes to land somewhere in my heart.

Today has been good.

The boys are definitely on the mend and sounding much better tonight than they were this morn.

Lots of rest. Lots of gentleness. and Lots of togetherness.

Now, onto what we wore!

We'll start with the boys. They sported their PJs and toys, books and blankets, all day.

And then there's me and my little photobomber/baby bump head-butter.
The boy just can't help himself. There are oodles of these photos of him running around me with his slew of dinosaurs.
These last two have my more pleasant face. I'll spare you my wide-eyed/come-on-bud face.
These shoes have been with me since my oldest. COMFORT! They are crocs and I heart them. Even if I have a day of swollen feet, they are still just as comfy. It's kind of magical.
I've had these skinny maternity jeans since Bigfoot too. The sweater/cardi has been with me since grad school and the floral tunic is a Marshall's find.
There you have it friends! A quick glance at our Sunday wear and out little sillies who are on the mend.

Favorite readings from today //

In those days, Elijah the prophet went to Zarephath.
As he arrived at the entrance of the city,
a widow was gathering sticks there; he called out to her,
"Please bring me a small cupful of water to drink."
She left to get it, and he called out after her,
"Please bring along a bit of bread."
She answered, "As the LORD, your God, lives,
I have nothing baked; there is only a handful of flour in my jar
and a little oil in my jug.
Just now I was collecting a couple of sticks,
to go in and prepare something for myself and my son;
when we have eaten it, we shall die."
Elijah said to her, "Do not be afraid.
Go and do as you propose.
But first make me a little cake and bring it to me.
Then you can prepare something for yourself and your son.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, says,
'The jar of flour shall not go empty,
nor the jug of oil run dry,
until the day when the LORD sends rain upon the earth.'"
She left and did as Elijah had said.
She was able to eat for a year, and he and her son as well;
the jar of flour did not go empty,
nor the jug of oil run dry,
as the LORD had foretold through Elijah.

-1 Kings 17: 10-16

Saturday, November 7, 2015

finding beauty // little big moments

"All the wealth in the world cannot be compared with the happiness of living together happily united."

-Blessed Margaret d’Youville

A few weeks back we had the pleasure of witnessing two of our loved ones become happily united. The weekend was full and good.

Love and smiles abounded. Hugs and embraces, everywhere. Sunshine and breezes, beautiful. Friends and family, by the crowds.

As much as exhaustion and fatigue set in all too quickly for this preggo mcpreggoson the presence of family and the joy in this beloved couple kept me going going going.

What also kept me going going going were the little big moments that filled the weekend with so much love and goodness and beauty. I snapped photos here and there of family moments - big and small - all that filled my heart.

These little sweet memories are what the present moment is filled with. Life. Looks. Light. Love. Hugs. Being held. Sharing stories. Sharing meals. Sharing. Coffee. Comfort. Kindness. Blankets. Mornings. Snuggles. Sleeping. Rushing. Time. Togetherness. Getting dressed. Preparing. Loving. Embracing. Seeing. Knowing. Laughing. and More.

Through it all our family made so many lovely memories before, during, and after this beautiful event and these are some of my favorites!
Smiles, Joy, and Snuggles.
Dancing. Exploring, and Fun.
Loving, Exciting, and a soon to be Aunt.
Uncles, Play, and the Little Things.
Snails, Bouncing balls, and Happy Hands.
Grandparents, Kickball, and Sunshine.
All the Joy, Authenticity, and Togetherness.
Time, Breezes, and Moments.
Storytelling over breakfasts, Porch Chats, and Coffee.
Blankets, Smiles, and all the Magic.
Sillies, Family, Moments they'll Never Forget.
Relationships, Friendships, Forever Forming.

I'm telling you. The little things. They make life lovely.

The landscape He provides us is rich and beautiful, always. The goodness that is waiting to be found and held is so incredible! And, the Truth that reigns in the love that is had by so many created in Goodness and Love can't help but radiate a Peace and Joy that surpasses all understanding.

Linking-up with PHFR, Theme Thursday for Sunflares (late submission! Promise I'll catch up soon!), and 7QT (Because I'm sharing 7++++ photos of some quick-love!).

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