Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Weekinds with Chesterton: Free love

Linking up this old post to the new Weekends with Chesterton over at Amongst Lovely Things. Looking forward to diving more into his readings! Hope y'all enjoy this oldie but goodie! I promise there won't be another re-post next weekend! 


The revolt against vows has been carried in our day even to the extent of a revolt against the typical vow of marriage. It is most amusing to listen to the opponents of marriage on this subject. They appear to imagine that the ideal of constancy was a yoke mysteriously imposed on mankind by the devil, instead of being as it is, a yoke consistently imposed by all lovers on themselves. They have invented a phrase, a phrase that is a black and white contradiction in two words-‘free-love’-as if a lover ever had been, or ever could be, free. It is the nature of love to bind itself, and the institution of marriage merely paid the average man the compliment of taking him at his word. 
-G.K. Chesterton

Chesterton says it so clearly. Our society says it’s okay to divorce, encourages cohabitation, says you should sleep around till you find the “right” person, seek pleasure for self, find the quick fixes, seek immediate gratification, and more, all in the name of freedom. This makes me sad. I see the pain. The indifference. The maltreatment. The objectification. The numbing and all else that comes with the do what feels right for you right now. Honestly, my love for my husband has never felt so free until the day we said “I do”. And now being able to see how the vow continues to naturally further bind us through the gift of our little Bigfoot. Love binds and it is beautiful…if we let it be.

The thing is, people now adays trick themselves into thinking that they aren’t saying “I do” to anything, but in reality every time they are physically or emotionally intimate with another person there is a an automatic physical and emotional “I do” that takes place and penetrates the very soul; which is how God intended it to be - a beautiful and transcendent experience of His Love. Chesterton was right, it is a “contradiction” to try and live out love as society thinks it should be lived.

So, with that,  I’m grateful for the Church's teachings of what it means to make a vow and for the respect that His Church has and always will give to the act and meaning of a vow. I’m grateful for the respect that His Church gives to us in trusting us to be open to the grace that flows from such a high calling in all the various vocations. And, I’m grateful for His Church standing firm these past 2000+ years.

There is a revolt on vows. For this very reason I am grateful for all who strive to live out their vow. Yes, some days can be scary, difficult, and trying; but it is in those times that we are most called to pick up our cross, to be committed, and to stand by what we believe in rather than flee in the face of fear.
It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start. -Blessed Mother Teresa
“Do not be afraid” He tells us. He knew we would experience fear. He knew that we would be tried and challenged, and that it wouldn’t be easy. And so, He told us, “Do not be afraid”.
Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Isaiah 43:5
And, during reflections like this, I’m thankful for the gift I have in GeekMan who understands the goodness of the vows we took. And thankful for my God who is always with us sharing His Grace in the good times and bad.

(updated in the beginning with an image and slight intro for link-up purposes.)


  1. Yes - the phrase of 'free-love' demonstrates just how backwards and confused we have become in understanding what love really is. So completely contrary to what real love is. Enjoyed reading your post. Great quote and especially grateful for the reminder to not be afraid.

    1. Lucy, thanks for stopping by! Yes, so very contrary! And, it is hard to remember to not be afraid. Jesus truly knew we would need those words of encouragement!

  2. "It is the nature of love to bind itself..."

    I love everything about this. What a great post! Thank you for linking up.

    1. Thank you Sarah! Thank you for such an awesome link-up! This is definitely one of my most favorite Chesterton quotes.

  3. What a great quote. I'm so looking forward to reading these each week.

    1. Thanks, Annery! Me too! If only I could keep up my end of the bargain! haha!


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