Tuesday, June 14, 2011

How much more?...

How much more progress would we make if we made it our principal study not to get in the way of His Action, to abandon ourselves to Him and wait.  -Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade

Definitely something for me to be thinking about.  I’ve been mostly at home these past few weeks preparing for all that is to come.  I’ve enjoyed the peace and quiet, moving things around, waiting for my GeekMan to come for lunch or from work, helping prepare/train our lil pup (Lily) for our little Junebug, cooking, baking here and there, cleaning of course when I have the energy, going for walks, and few other random things here and there.  Amidst all of this, my thoughts return to all the unknowns surrounding our little one and it’s arrival.

So, when things like this happen (thoughts rambling, questioning etc) I usually will find myself in an old book that made sense at some point in my life.  Lately, my go-to book has been Abandonment to Divine Providence by Fr. De Caussade.  In one of his letters, Fr. de Caussade was writing to a Reverend Mother seeking spiritual guidance.  In this letter to her he focused on Peaceful Waiting.  Again, the whole theme of “waiting”.  But not just any kind of waiting - he calls it peaceful.  While thinking about peaceful waiting I remembered St. Gianna’s words:

All the Lord’s ways are beautiful because their end is one and the same: to save our own soul and to succeed in leading many other souls to heaven, to give glory to God.  -St. Gianna Beretta Molla

Needless to say, at 39 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I am waiting.  But, am I waiting as patiently as I can so as not to get in the way of how God is working in me each waiting moment?  I’m going to venture and say no.  But after reading Fr. de Caussade’s letter to a Reverend Mother and remembering St. Gianna’s words, I definitely have a little more perspective on what is being asked of me today and in the days to come.  Not to stress, or be anxious about how and when everything will happen and thereafter, but to Trust that He has His ways that are Perfect.  More Perfect than I could ever fathom.  And, again, in the waiting will my path be sanctified.  In the waiting, I have the opportunity to grow to know Him more.  How much more?  …I don’t really know.  Will I be successful moment to moment each day that comes - definitely not.  But, I do know that I’m being called to wait.  And so, wait on You the best that I humanly can, I shall  (with Your Grace, of course! :))

All I do know is that I am just so thrilled, excited, and happy (as well as every other word that means excited for that matter) to meet this little Life that God has shared with my GeekMan and me.

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