Being sick is not fun. It never has been and mostly never will be. Since becoming mama sickness in my children has just rocked me.
On the one hand, I want to be the most nourishing and present mama ever known to the little ones. And, on the other hand, the sickies that toss in a dose of no-sleep for mama make it really hard for me to be all the things that my heart wants me to be. Little or disturbed sleep really affects me. I try to not let it, but I sometimes get to that little downward spiral that I don't realize I'm in until it's too late - a temper has been flared, my voice has been raised, and my two little arms plus major back pain bring me to the side of me I wish didn't exist.
As much as I have wanted to embrace the ordinary trial that comes into the world of motherhood on a fairly regular basis, last night and today have been a struggle. Thankfully my little sickie man is incredibly cute when he's not crazy fussing. Thankfully, my boys are forgiving. Thankfully, they want me to be good and better because they know I can.
Mama, please no yell. Yellings not nice, mama. We wuvvv each ovther.
Mama, you mad? I'm not mad. I'm happy. Are you happy?
And, thankfully I have a husband who has majorly picked up my slack today by being there for our little man who's fever has passed but has brought about Mr. Fussy McFusserson more often than not today and last night. My husband was a Rockstar last night! This mama was not. This mama checked out about 1:30 + kicks, tears, and pinching o'clock. It's just what happened.
I'm also thankful that I get to share about my ordinary that needs more embracing on this little space. It's my little release that helps me get perspective and support from others who are journeying along with me. It's my little space where I can tell sweet Linus that, even though I failed him last night, I really really wish I hadn't. I really wish I had been all the things to him! Thankfully, on this little web space I can also let sweet Linus know that he has a Rockstar of a Dada who shared his arms, chest, hands, baritone words of comfort, and heart a good portion of the middle of the night, morning, and day.
Thankful for my husband right now and the way he was able to embrace an ordinary that can be trying in the middle of the night, especially when it carries through to the morning and day. Thankful he was able to embrace our Linus today in a way that I couldn't (No thank-you, unknown reason for three days of low to moderate-grade fever!).