the side of love // on silence and mothering

There was a time, while I lived in DC, that religious life was on my mind and heart. It was a small whisper that I know I wanted but a whisper that Our Lord would ultimately turn to silence, obviously. Nonetheless, it was a thought that I was actively exploring in my heart and through my prayers.

Our Sweet Lord appeased me, funny enough, by sharing this teeny tiny whisper with a friend of mine who encouraged me to join her on venturing out to see the Missionaries of Charity. Anxiously, timidly, and excitedly I went.

I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe a rush of understanding that this was the place He was calling me to? Maybe a feeling of home? Maybe overwhelming peace?

While I did feel many of these things, I didn't feel them the way I thought I would and had prayed I would. Though, because the Lord is good and all-knowing and uses all to His good and Holy Will, this experience was exactly what I needed and has bore much fruit not only in my single life but also in my present vocation as wife and mother.

--

For a little background, my friend and I visited with the sisters, saw their life and how they cared for the least of these. A kind sister, the sweetest and gentle of souls, guided and shared with us to her hearts content. This sister spent a number of years in the presence of the very saint that was canonized today - St. Teresa of Calcutta. I remember thinking how amazing it was that she got to spend so much time in the presence of a woman who was surely going to be canonized some day! Sister delightedly relayed bits and pieces of that life and my soul just quietly took it all in.

As we were leaving, Sister kindly gave a few odds and ends for us to take home with us. One small and simple thing she gifted me was a card that had two prayers on it; two prayers that I have kept close to my heart more than I ever thought I would in the years to come.

Being the introvert that I am, silence is a very desirable and good thing for my heart and my peace. For me, when I first read this prayer, silence was the romance that was spoken throughout my visits with Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. I truly romanticized any and all moments of silence. Christ was there in my present, loving me. The quietness that soothed my soul was time well spent but did not get me out of my comfort, but rather, nourished the very core of me.

"The fruit of SILENCE is Prayer.The Fruit of PRAYER is Faith.The fruit of FAITH is Love.The fruit of LOVE is Service.The fruit of SERVICE is Peace."

-St. Teresa of Calcutta

In contrast, there's St. Teresa of Calcutta, a woman's who's silence was something similar to mine but also very different. It was not only had during times spent in front of the Blessed Sacrament where her soul was nourished by His True Presence but one that also poured forth into her ministry to bless others with a beautiful and good love. Her SILENCE stretched all the way out into PEACE. Her soul did not stop at faith or love but moved out into SERVICE and finally a PEACE that surpasses all understanding. The very peace that stirred the souls around her - mine included.

I needed that awareness then as I do now, every day. The fruit of silence is not only had in front of Christ in an Adoration Chapel. No. It is and should also be had from deep within me as I encounter Christ in the least of these in my home, in my family, in my friendships, in strangers, in chores, in work, and in all I do. Silence starts from within if we let Him settle into the little nooks of our soul in hopes that prayer, faith, love, service, and peace will pour fourth into the gifts that they are, not only for ourselves, but for others too.

The other prayer that I wanted to share is what is on the backside of the Fruit of Silence prayer. This prayer took my heart by storm but not until I became a mother.

"Mary, Mother of Jesus, Be a Mother to me now."

-St. Teresa of Calcutta

While in graduate school, my now husband and I came back into each others' lives to journey towards the vocation which God had called us to, marriage. Little did I know how much the backside of this prayer card would meet me in my darkest of nights.

You see, today I am not only called wife, but I am also called mama by three little souls. No name has ever been so challenging and humbling. Never have I felt the weight of another's soul more than since becoming a mama. This truth only God knew that my little soul would need while on my journey Home.

Truth be told, nothing could have prepared me for what motherhood has entailed. It has broken me and built me only to break and rebuild me again and again. It has brought me to my knees in ways I never knew possible.

10:00 PM (cue crying newborn) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

11:00 PM (Cue crying baby) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

1:00 AM (Cue wailing infant) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

3:00 AM (Cue scared and crying toddler) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

5:00 AM (Cue a child who has had a bad dream) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

7:00 AM (Cue children, ready to start their day) Mary, Mother of Jesus, be a mother to me now.

On REPEAT.

When I say, darkest of nights, this is what I refer to. It's darker than dark in the middle of night, especially if it's your third, fourth, fifth, etc night of very little sleep. It's even darker when you know there is a beautiful soul calling you mama, tugging on your heart by simply asking for love, while all you can think of is needing/wanting more s l e e p now.

Never have I ever needed a mother more than while trying to mother my own children in the middle of the night on little to no sleep or during the day following said night. Never have I needed Our Lady to bring the prayers of my heart to Our Lord than while trying to love these precious gifts He shared with my husband and I. Broken and tired, I would get up, respond, tend, and try to love but not without pleading to be mothered myself first. 

Today's newly canonized saint knew what it was to give of herself through the night until she felt like she could give no more. She knew and her heart formed these words together into what has been a balm and strength and comfort to my own mothering heart during my dark nights of trying to love those nearest to me. I felt held and loved by the powerful praying words of Our Lady as I tried to hold and love a snuggled up child given to us by her Son.

The beauty of Mother Teresa's heart and how she has shared it with the world truly are an everlasting blessing to all of us that are still soldiering on. I know her words will continue to form and encourage my own walk on this earth, which is exciting and truly gift - a gift that landed in my life in the form of a small and simple prayer card so very long ago.

--

Deo Gratias, for today's beautiful and newly canonized saint! Deo Gratias, for the goodness, truth, and beauty she has shared with the world! and, Deo Gratias, for all the ways her obedient and good soul has shared strength, perspective, and love to my own little soul that is still journeying on.

St. Teresa of Calcutta, ora pro nobis.

the present moment // blank stares, good reads, and il papa

Listening to: A classical music station on YouTube. It's been pretty soothing for both, myself and the boys. On our days home soothing is something I'm all for when you have a couple of boys who haven't been feeling well but still manage to have the desire for their normal energy levels of crazy. Yes, soothing is good.

Cooking: A few recipes that my neighbor suggested. She's from Italy, born and raised, so anything she suggests is always gold! Also, the two recipes she offered are her quick go-to dinners which is also a major win in my book. So far, the boys have thoroughly enjoyed one of the two, which sounds good to me. As for the husband and I, we thoroughly enjoyed both!

Praying for: Lots and lots o' prayer intentions, il Papa!, the St. Therese novena starts today, and the Litany of Humility because it's so so so so so so good.

In fact,

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, Jesus.

From the desire of being loved...

From the desire of being extolled ...

From the desire of being honored ...

From the desire of being praised ...

From the desire of being preferred to others...

From the desire of being consulted ...

From the desire of being approved ...

From the fear of being humiliated ...

From the fear of being despised...

From the fear of suffering rebukes ...

From the fear of being calumniated ...

From the fear of being forgotten ...

From the fear of being ridiculed ...

From the fear of being wronged ...

From the fear of being suspected ...

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I ...

That, in the opinion of the world,

others may increase and I may decrease ...

That others may be chosen and I set aside ...

That others may be praised and I unnoticed ...

That others may be preferred to me in everything...

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should…

Quote: A Papa quote that Haley from Carrots for Michaelmas shared on Facebook: 

"Hope speaks to us of a thirst, an aspiration, a longing for a life of fulfillment, a desire to achieve great things, things which fill our heart and lift our spirit to lofty realities like truth, goodness and beauty, justice and love. But it also involves taking risks. It means being ready not to be seduced by what is fleeting, by false promises of happiness, by immediate and selfish pleasures, by a life of mediocrity and self-centeredness, which only fills the heart with sadness and bitterness. No, hope is bold; it can look beyond personal convenience, the petty securities and compensations which limit our horizon, and can open us up to grand ideals which make life more beautiful and worthwhile. I would ask each one of you: What is it that shapes your life? What lies deep in your heart? Where do your hopes and aspirations lie? Are you ready to put yourself on the line for the sake of something even greater?" 

-Pope Francis

Welcome to America, Papa!

Can y'all believe he's here! So exciting! Excited for Holy Spirit and Divine Providence to share their goodness with our country. Lord knows we are always in need!

Loving Annie's quote share:

And this one:

"All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle." 

-St. Francis of Assisi

Good Reads on the Web: 

Love is Patient: Mothering Little Ones by Do Small Things with Love

Life is Precious {A Review and a Giveaway} by Better Than Eden

From a Child of Divorce: What I Wish They Would Have Told Me by Blossoming Joy

When you just want to know it's all going to be okay by A Holy Experience

Learning to Love in All The Wrong (To Us) Ways by Better Than Eden over at Elizabeth Ministry

Something's Gotta Give: The Path to a Deeper Communion with God by Catholic Wife, Catholic Life

Reading: The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkein

Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence: The Secret of Peace and Happiness by Father Jean Baptiste Saint-Jure - Our current family bible study read (a group of 5 - 7 couples all get together to discuss current reading topics while two wonderful babysitters watch over the oodles of kiddos. Good times are these, y'all!)

St. George and the Dragon by Geraldine McCaughrean

Loving: I read St. George and the Dragon to the boys today and they a b s o l u t e l y loved. it. I can't even tell you how amazing it was to see their little mesmerized eyes and imaginations! It was all sorts of magical, really.

"Again, mama! Again! ..and, St. George, he was brave! ..and, and...he was so good, he made the dragon good too! ..and he won! because, he was brave and holy! Mama! ..and the dragon was bad! Really really bad! ...but then good because St. George was good!"

These boys are just drawn to adventure, chivalry, bravery, adventure, and virtue. The saints have so much to share and I just love how the stories of them just draw these boys into a world where evil can and will be conquered by good. Despite the youngest still feeling a little down from a bug that hit on Friday, these two can't wait to go out and play knights and dragons again and again and again.

Funny thing is, they've been playing knights and dragons for months now. We celebrated St. George's feast day last year, and since then the youngest has developed a love for all things dragons and knights and the oldest just loves to defend and battle with swords.

All this to say, I. can't. wait! to read them The Hobbit!! True story.

Round the House: Three loads of laundry down, maybe one to go, lots of cleaning that isn't happening but really needs to happen, and dishes. Oye! The dishes! Always...the dishes...

Captured:
"Mama, let's go outside and pick up allll the new acorns on the patio!!!!" ...he said.

"Das a gweeaaattt ahdeaaaa, doodsseffff!!!" ...the younger one replies enthusiastically.

"I know! We can use the empty water jugs!!!" ...innovatively replies the 4 year old.

"Yaaaaaaaa!! Gweeeaattt ahdeaaaa! Let's goooo!" ...enthusiastically shouts the 2 year old.

"For Daddy! He'll be soooo happy! Let's go, mama, let's go!" ends the 4 year-old.

Off we go with jugs and scoops in hand.

30/52 Bigfoot. 4. Thinker McThinkerson.

30/52 Linus. 2. Imagination Station.

How many acorns were accumulated during this service of love for their beloved Daddy, you might be wondering?

Zero.

"Boys, what happened? I thought you were going to pick up allllll the acorns for Daddy today?"  asks the mama who was actually pretty excited about possibly getting a cleaned up patio, free from acornagedon.

"...." blank stares.

Happy Tuesday! XO

the present moment // i shall not want

Currently: The boys are napping and there is snow melting outside. I'm sitting at our dining table happily rambling away my time.

My brain has been a scatter these past few days. A little foggy and I'm feeling in a rut. It just is. It happens sometimes.

At the start of the weekend, Linus started limping. I have a mystery limp on my hands and it's making me anxious. We have a doctor appointment scheduled for tomorrow, but there's just something about the unknown that just unnerves me. Almost paralyzes me.

We had mystery fever a few weeks back, and that unnerved me towards the later part of the week. And then as if it was always meant to be, his fever lifted and we moved forward.

Sometimes things like this happen and it's so easy to spiral into the realm of what if's or the surely there is something I'm missing or the did I do something to let this happen, etc. So easy to just rest in the insecurity of maybe I'm just not doing enough. So easy.

But then there's this...

Pondering:

"The present moment is always the ambassador who declares the order of God. The heart always pronounces it's fiat. The soul pours itself forth by all these means into its centre and goal; it never stops, it travels by all winds; all routes and methods advance it equally on its journey to the high sea of the Infinite. Everything is a means and an instrument of holiness; everything without any exception. The "one thing necessary" is always to be found by the soul in the present moment. There is no need to choose between prayer and silence, privacy or conversation, reading or writing, reflection or the abandonment of the thought, the frequentation or avoidance of spiritual people, abundance or famine, illness or health, life or death; the "one thing necessary" is what each moment produces by God's design. In this consists the stripping, the self-abnegation, the renunciation of the creature in order to be nothing by or for one-self, in order to remain as regards everything in God's order at his pleasure, finding one's only contentment in bearing the present moment, as if there were nothing else in the world to expect." 

-Fr. J.P. de Caussade, S.J.

His wisdom always makes the pathway to goodness and holiness seem so simple! Like, all I have to do is just be and my soul and heart will move me towards Him. Like I just have to be present and let my soul journey forth towards the high sea of the Infinite!

Maybe if I keep on reading all this amazingness I will fall into order of all the good even in my doubt and anxiety?

So much to think about every time I read any. little. thing. from this wonderful priest.

Doing: I'm putting one foot in front of the other. I'm moving forward, making the phone calls, and keeping the littles fed and tended to. I'm trying to do the same for myself and my husband. I'm trying. I'm moving. I'm taking steps. Little steps that feel big.

Right now, it's the little things. I'm doing them out of love. I know this because my heart is hurting a little for both my boys. I know this because I'm their mama and there's a piece of me that they will always carry. The one that wakes me up in the middle of the night at the slightest of slight sounds. The part of me that cringes with them when they take a fall and the same piece that gets pierced every time they cry.

I have one who has this mystery limp that doesn't impede any of his actions whatsoever (He's been climbing, running, skipping, and jumping with the best of them despite his random limp.) and I have another who's allergies have him and me chasing boogers that just do not seem to stop; in turn, bringing on the not-so-fun junky cough.

But I'm doing. I'm wiping. I'm watching. I'm calling. I'm reading and researching. I'm trying to stay settled and to sit in this place that I am.

Finding: I'm finding peace and comfort in Fr. Jean-Pierre de Caussade's book, Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence and music.

Yesterday the first song that came on while I took a little get-away shower was Audrey Assad's, I Shall Not Want. The whole time I was listening, my heart was saying, Yes. This.

Listening to:

Praying: Praying that our time at the doctor's office tomorrow is fruitful. Praying that the weather allows us to make it to said appointment!

**Apparently we are supposed to get near 4 inches of snow tomorrow. Now I know my Northern friends are probably laughing at this, but the thing is our roads and cars are not made for this weather. We had an inch of ice on our roads yesterday and we have no regular salt trucks or the chain thingies that would help us maneuver these conditions. So silly as we Texans may be, we really just don't have all the winter things in place to help us get around these random ice-magedons and bouts of snow fall. It was 80 degrees just last week!??**

Praying that Bigfoot's junky cough and runny nose let him sleep tonight. Praying for safe travels for everyone in these wintery conditions. 

Praying for all my pregnant and post-partum friends. My heart is with y'all in a special way. 

Praying in thanksgiving for family, friends, and community.

Praying for grace. Praying for love. Praying for peace.

And praying:

Suscipe (St. Ignatius of Loyola)
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own. 

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it. 

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace.
That is enough for me.

Captured: I haven't captured anything with the fancier camera but I have a few phone camera/Instagram captures to share.

Thanks for stopping by and reading along this little bit of a slow time we have going around here. 

How are things with y'all? Slow? Fast? Crazy? Normal?

What words of wisdom from the Saints or Scriptures nudge you along the slower times? I'm all ears!

Linking-up with Jenny for Daybook.

Embrace the Ordinary: Days of Crazy

Many a time has been spent on my bed this past week and will probably continue to do so till I am able to get in with a neurosurgeon to figure out a treatment plan for my back. 

My MRI came in and I apparently have two bulging discs in my lower back. Translation: Ow mixed in with slow movements, lots of medicine, and a mess of a time trying to get in with a neurosurgeon to further diagnose my situation as well as figure out a treatment plan. 

On the bright side, slow movements was mentioned in the paragraph above. Last weekend, I could not sit, stand, lay, or anything else under the sun without feeling crippling pain. It was pretty awful for a number of reasons. But, I'll take being able to walk around, sitting for short whiles, and laying fairly comfortably over what I was experiencing last weekend, any day! 

This non-ordinary situation has become our ordinary. The boys have watched more than their fair share of Shaun the Sheep, Umi Zoomi, and Sesame Street, but have been coping along with us as well as they can. Bigfoot often checks in with me to see if my back is better and little Linus walks around as if it's just another fun day o' life filled with silliness and giggles (which is good for me). My husband has been my Superman. From lifting me and helping me do all the things that involve getting from point A to B, to preparing meals for us, driving us to doctor appointment after another, bathing the boys, putting them to bed and so much more. He has done so beautifully, and for the sacrifice that he has lovingly embraced daily throughout this week, I am forever grateful.

I'm praying we are able to get in with a neurosurgeon to figure out the next step and to further understand the mess that is my spine right now within the next week or two. And, would love your prayers for that too because waiting around with this pain while on so many random medications is not. my. thang.

Embracing this injury has been a tough one for me. I appreciate all of your prayers more than you know. I do have tidbits of hope mixed with way too many anxieties about what this injury means for me today and for our future, but I'm trying to trust Him better through this trial. I'm trying to embrace His Good and Perfect Will He has for me and our family. I'm really trying. But, admittedly, it's been hard.

So, thank you for your prayers. I can't say that enough! They have been felt. We have had good days, moments, and memories through it all, which is a grace. A good grace that keeps me hopeful.

Nana's job brought her to us for an overnight stay that was such a gift! She helped so much! Can't wait till next time, mom!

Random shot of my head and the beautiful blue sky my toddler shot. Love the sun and the sky!

Brother love.

A cold front, some high waters, basketball, and smiles.

Eli randomly conked out on Daddy's belly. I don't think he's too thrilled with the Cowboys this year.

My little lefty.

Another plus on the back pain department, I've practically lived in my new flowy sale purchase from a few weekends ago. Love it!

In all, I appreciate all the prayers from family and friends so very much! They have been the easiest to embrace during our ordinary days this whole last week. The prayers, phone calls, texts, emails, and kind gestures are what have blessed us with the grace to embrace our not so ordinary day-to-days of crazy.

Linking-up with Gina for Embrace the Ordinary.

7QT: Guardian of the Incarnate Word

--- 1 ---

St. Joseph's feast day was this past Wednesday. It was a good day. It was a great day! We celebrated in little ways for our little man's name day and this mama finished praying the St. Joseph novena for my husband, husbands everywhere, my boys, and for thanksgiving.

My intentions for the novena were dear to my heart. All of them. But, this year, most especially the prayers of thanksgiving. Let me explain.

Last year I prayed this same novena. I asked dear St. Joseph to help us find our home and to help my husband find another job that better suits him (or that we have more peace about where he was then) in the near future (preferably before buying a house). These intentions were present to where we were then and pretty specific. Thankfully, our son's dear patron saint, heard me and took my petitions to our Sweet Lord.

Months after the novena, my husband found, applied, and accepted a job that is perfectly suited for him. This new job has been such a blessing to our little family. Such a gift!

Soon after he accepted his new job we began our house hunt. This house hunt went on for a little while. It was hard to trust. It was easy to get carried away with each house. But, thankfully we were  able to be mostly patient, trusting, and had so many people praying for us, including St. Joseph.

--- 2 ---

Eventually we stumbled upon a home that we were drawn too. There was an undeniable pull once we entered the doors. And, we really did just stumble upon it!

It's funny though because we initially weren't very interested. See, we had found an open house across the street and found out there was another home nearby that was also showing. This house wasn't necessarily on our radar. Just another house nearby. We called our Realtor and decided to head over since we had a good hour before Mass. It really was the best decision we could have made and Holy Spirit gently guiding us to our gift. 

We walked in and I immediately noticed a small figure of St. Joseph on the welcome table. I quickly noticed the figure and took to the owner. We started chatting about our Catholic faith. She shared how she had been praying for a young Catholic family with babies. She wanted new and precious family memories to be had in her home. She shared with me the beauty of the home, all it had to offer, and emphasized how wonderful it is that it has been prayed in for over 20 years. She got teary at the thought of our little family purchasing the home and so did I! My son took to her too and after leaving kept asking to go back to Mrs. Carolyn's house. She took to him as well seeing as his name is the same name that started us in conversation - Joseph. She also quickly shared that she had started a 30-day novena to St. Joseph the day prior and felt that he was working fast.

She was right. And, I could not be more grateful for our Lord listening to the petitions of St. Joseph, Guardian of the Incarnate Word!

--- 3 ---

{Pretty}
Now, onto our celebrating this wonderful Saint who was so integral in helping us find our home.

This picture was able to encapsulate a lot of what I found beautiful on this feast day. We were fortunate to have a friend and her two boys (one in utero) over to feast over dinner. Ultimately, she had come over to help let me pack up for our big move this weekend, and when I realized she would be here on St. Joseph's feast day I quickly let her know that we would be feasting and she and her sons would be joining.

She brought over a delicious St. Joseph salad. Our oldest boys are near in age so they had so much fun playing together. Many laughs were had and it was beautiful. Made me want to always celebrate feast days with family friends. Also, it was another reminder of just how blessed we are to have so many wonderful people in our lives and the lives of the boys.

The picture captures the richness of our faith. The joy. The celebration. The whole feast! Which is why I also included this photo for Abbey's Holy Lens Insta-project and Cari's Theme Thursday.

--- 4 ---

{Happy}

Bigfoot was so happy to pick and choose breakfast and lunch. Funny enough he was happy to keep it toddler-simple while I made more of a feast out of dinner.

St. Joseph Feast Day Menu

Breakfast

Blueberry muffins, cereal, and apples

Lunch

Chicken nuggets, Hummus & Carrots, blueberries

Dinner

Pappardelle di San Giuseppe, St. Joseph salad, and St. Joseph blueberry puffcakes

(Another thank you to Catholic Cuisine for their awesomeness!)

We read our St. Joseph Story book during breakfast and lunch per the little man's request.

Enjoyed friends and food for dinner. The pasta that we ate was delicious! It was a perfect salty sweet and made me think of sawdust. Sounds weird, I know, but it did! The breadcrumbs mixed with sugar and crushed toasted walnuts had this sawdust look to them. A perfect opportunity to share about St. Joseph and his craft of carpentry!

And I coudn't get enough of this yummy St. Joseph's salad my friend Katey brought over!

Last, but not, I made theses yummy St. Joseph puffcakes. I ended up using blueberries because it's what I had (instead of rasberries). I also changed up the cream filling a tad by replacing the heavy whipping cream with shortening and almond milk since, again, that's what we had. These were so light and airy I kept wanting to call them puffcakes. Either way, they were a delightful little close to our feast day celebrations!

--- 5 ---

{Funny}

Linus decided to share some of his sweetness on during our feast.

Yesss...?

Mama, what are you doing?

Ah! You want take pictures of me and you want me to smile?

OK!

Was that good?

Ok, mama. I smiled already.

Alright, it's awkward...

--- 6 ---

{Real}

Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear St. Joseph, Gaurdian of the Incarnate Word. We are forever grateful for your prayers and look forward to continuing to get to know you better, precious Foster Father of the Son of God. 

--- 7 ---

All in all, it was a good day. A good day to celebrate answered and unanswered prayers. A good day to celebrate the patron saint of our oldest son and a good day to be thankful for all of our blessings. Blessings in our faith. Blessings in our new home. Blessings in our family. And, blessings in our friends here on earth and in Heaven.

We have lots to celebrate and I'm thankful that celebrating the beautiful lives that have gone before offer us special little ways to remember that.

Thanks for stopping by and for more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary! And visit Like Mother Like Daughter for more Pretty, Happy, Funny, Real posts!

Also, if you could pray for us! We are having our big and full move in to our new home-sweet-home tomorrow! From novena to novena, we have been heard and loved! ! So EXCITED!!!

St. Joseph, Head of the Holy Family, ora pro nobis.

Our Little Feast for St. Patrick

Happy (belated) Feast of St. Patrick!

We celebrated yesterday with little to-do's throughout the day. No crafting parties but a few fun foods to be had.

Menu

Breakfast

Green Apples & Irish Oatmeal

Lunch

Chicken Nuggets

Green Peas & Carrots

&

Good News Popcorn

(Some Yummy Green Apple Popcorn that Lena from Joy Filled Family made. I found her recipe off of Catholic Cuisine. Love both of these sites!)

Dinner

Irish Corned beef & Potatoes

Green Broccoli

Beer

&

some more Good News Popcorn for dessert

Throughout the day I tried talking to the boys about St. Patrick. I showed them a few images from some Saint books we have and read to them little stories here and there.

I mentioned a few times that St. Patrick is not, in fact, Irish, and that we are celebrating with green and Irish culture because it was that beautiful place that St. Patrick brought God and our Catholic faith to. Haha. I felt this was a necessary component that needed emphasis since there were a number of people I saw on social media saying the Saint was Irish! As much as I'm sure Ireland would take him on, the Saint was not born there, and I figured it's never to early to start countering the mess that is thrown out in media today. Haha. Absurd, I know! But, that's how it went down yesterday!

Our little pot o' Good News Pop-gold wrapped in rainbow.

Meat & Potatoes. I'd share a recipe here, but I ultimately I just learned that I completely underestimate Worcestershire sauce and will never do it again. EVER! My slow cooked beef was a salty mess.

For the most part, I do think a few things stuck with Bigfoot, while Linus just did his new toddling thing. The evidence is in Bigfoot's conversations from today. He has been asking for God, and often. 

"I want to see God"

"Where's God right now?"

"I want to watch God."
"I wuvv God."

If I mention St. Patrick,"Right, Pad-trick and God.I want God."

I've enjoyed him asking for God throughout the day today. It's been sweet sharing with him about how God is always with us. How He was with St. Patrick and St. Joseph, and how they both loved God so very much. It's also been a sweet reminder for this mama.

As an added attempt at celebrating St. Patrick, I played an Irish station on my Pandora in the morning during breakfast, but that had to end real quick since the fast, up-beat music made my boys all kinds of hyper and ca-razy! I kid you not, Bigfoot managed to butt heads with Linus once, trip on something that resulted in some arm pain, and assisted in making his little brother cry at least three times. When he wasn't getting hurt or giving his brother a reason to cry he was running around with an I'm-going to-charge-at-you sort of AHHHH! yell, while shaking his head around like the craziness I mentioned earlier. Keep in mind I played the station for a good fifteen minutes at most. So, those of you with littles, consider yourself warned when it comes to the good ol' tunes of the Irish.

I pray to God to give me perseverance and to deign that I be a faithful witness to Him to the end of my life for my God.

― St. Patrick

There are a few things I love about St. Patrick. One is that he was so young when called. He endured so much in so few years and yet was beautifully obedient to His Call! Definitely a saint for our youth! I also love the incredibly beautiful prayers he left us. 

Christ with me,

Christ before me,

Christ behind me,

Christ in me,

Christ beneath me,

Christ above me,

Christ on my right,

Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down,

Christ when I sit down,

Christ when I arise,

Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,

Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me. 

― St. Patrick

All in all, it was a good day of celebration and getting to know dear St. Patrick. I love our Saints and am so grateful for the beauty and goodness they left us by answering His Call of love to them while on earth. 

My hope is that our little ones will grow to know and love these amazing saints God has shared with us - especially that whole obedience thing! Haha, just kidding! Kind of... Anyways, until then, here are some shots of them exerting every ounce of toddler obedience they can! Enjoy the sweetness!

Special thanks to Catholic Cuisine and Joy Filled Family for helping make our feast day a bit more special!

Lent: Do you wish to rise?

Do you wish to rise? Begin by descending. You plan a tower that will pierce the clouds? Lay first the foundation of humility.

-Saint Augustine

An answer to our prayers.

Someday very soon I do want to write the story of our new home. It really is a beautiful one that we have been blessed with. So many little things happened that just showed His Hands holding and guiding us. Our home has been prayed in for years. It has been taken care of and loved by the previous owners. And, even though it was built in 1967 it is in much much better shape than so many other homes that we saw while searching. 

Lay first the foundation...

For now, I'll just grab some tidbits from our journey and say that here in the Dallas area the dirt is known for causing foundation issues even in the most newly built homes. I think it has something to do with the dryness of the soil. That aside, the home we bought actually has a solid foundation and has never had any work done prior (Yay for us!). The large majority of houses we saw had issues to varying degrees. If they didn't it was because they were built within the last 7-10 years or so.

There cannot be any other virtue...

It's crazy to think of all the damage that can be linked to a non-solid foundation. So many things can easily go wrong while building a new foundation at the start and throughout the years! There are a number of things, like: what if it wasn't built in a timely manner, was it tended to after the house was built, was it built during a good or bad season, too humid, too dry, to thick, not thick enough. All things that can be carefully managed through, but also things that can so easily alter the future of the home - from the floors all the way up to the roof. The reality of poorly built foundations has never been so visible till we started looking for our home.

Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.

-Saint Augustine

In hindsight, we are forever grateful that we did not pursue any house with major foundation issues to close, even though we know they can all easily be lived in because there are ways to mend all related issues. Honestly, we were so close to buying a home that ultimately was a structural mess because of the foundation, but with a lot of prayer and trusting, we moved on and found a home that exceeded our expectations. Prayers were answered beyond what we could have imagined!

Humility is the mother of many virtues because from it obedience, fear, reverence, patience, modesty, meekness and peace are born. He who is humble easily obeys everyone, fears to offend anyone, is at peace with everyone, is kind with all.

-St Thomas of Villanova

All this to say, it got me thinking a lot about foundations. Not only physcial, house-related ones, but also our spiritual ones.

St. Augustine and St. Thomas of Villanova share some beautiful words about humility (of course!). The foundation, our foundation needs to be firm. It needs to be tended to. It needs to be solid and withstanding so that it can remain firm in Him - no matter the weather, no matter the soil, no matter whatever conditions may come. Foundations are important and no easy task!

The more I seek to solidify my foundation in humility, I realize that humility can be grasped and grown in me little by little. Through stepping stones of service and love, my foundation can be tended to so that it may also withstand time. It's not an overnight thing. It's a work in progress. A work in progress that makes more sense in my sleepy-mama brain by keeping it simple, keeping it little, keeping it broken down by my daily tasks of love that my heart strives for.

When I see the saints sharing that humility is foundational to growing in all other virtues, it makes me look at my Lenten journey through a different lens. A lens that has helped me realize the weight this particular virtue has on all the hopes that I have for my Lenten season. The wisdom of the saints makes me realize that just like our new home was built strong and well enough to withstand time, we also have our spiritual foundation of humility that is wildly important to the structure of our wholeness in Him. If I want to rise with Him, I need to start at the bottom. Something my heart knows but doesn't remember on the day-to-day.

Little by little. Humility. Service. Love. Obedience. Fear. Reverence. Joy. Patience. Modesty. Meekness. Peace. Jesus.

St. Augustine & St. Thomas of Villanova, pray for us.

Linking up with Cari for Theme Thursday! And, thank you Abbey for the meditation prompts! I'm really enjoying your Lent-stagram project!

Motherhood at His Feet

During Mass about a month or so ago, I was able to have some quiet moments. They were filled with the kind of quiet that pierces your soul (something that is harder to come by these  noisy days of late). During these little moments I found myself gazing upon His Feet on the Cross. Those moments were precious to me for a number of reasons, but mostly because they reminded me of the many an hour I spent in Mass or Adoration gazing upon these very same Feet during my non-kiddo years.

It is up to you, wretched sinner, to humble yourself as this happy penitent did so that you may be rid of your wretchedness. Prostrate yourself on the ground, take hold of his feet, soothe them with kisses, sprinkle them with your tears and so wash not them but yourself.  

-St. Bernard of Clairvaux

Back in my younger days, when I would gaze and meditate upon the Cross I would always ask our Lord to use me. I wanted to be His Servant. Sharing His Love. His Goodness. The same Love and Goodness I had felt my whole life through all the beautiful vessels He blessed me with. I wanted to be a vessel for Him. So, when I found myself, prostrated or kneeling before Him, I would mostly gaze at His Feet. I felt so much peace there. So much love! And, it truly was sanctifying, as St. Bernard pointed out. The prostration, the kisses, the tears truly did wash me and not anyone else. 

So, for me, being able to kneel or prostrate myself before Him were little lessons in humility. Lessons I always was in need of. And, being before him, gazing at his Feet made me feel like I was his little girl - like a little girl curled up at the foot of her father. His little lovely. This was my little and imperfect way of loving Him best I could with who I was on that day. I also thought, if I were to be a servant, then I must learn to serve Him who first loves and serves all who I will ever meet.

These days were precious to me. And, as seasons in my life have demonstrated, these days were also numbered. Or so I thought, prior to that past weekend.

See, there is a crazy busyness to motherhood. The days seem to melt together. The long hours that seem to never end are the very same hours that disappear. There are highs and lows that are so easy to get lost in. There are good times, tough times, joyful times, sad times, and everything else in between. Now, I know that God has called me to be His servant here in our home. And, for this I am forever grateful. I have shared about how blessed I am to be able to say my daily Fiat to my vocation. But I have, at different times, missed my time with my Lord. The uninterrupted time we would have together. The little times I spent at His blessed Feet.

I say all this because I am finally starting to understand motherhood at His Feet. I am still meeting my Lord. Always have been. It just looks different. His feet are the little feet of my boys and the big feet of my husband. I can't always have this uninterrupted time with him in Adoration or at Mass, but, what I can do is meet him before my children and husband. I can still kneel or prostrate myself before the same Lord I would meet before the sacraments in the very same beautiful souls He has shared with me. He is in them. They are made in His Image.

...‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father. Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, a stranger and you welcomed me, naked and you clothed me, ill and you cared for me, in prison and you visited me.’

...‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’

 -Matthew 25: 34-36, 40

So, I write all this because I needed to be reminded that when I am on my knees building blocks, or prostrated before my sons so that they can crawl all over me, I am meeting Him. When I am kneeling to capture little moments on our family camera, or prostrated to play baby bear with the littles, I am meeting Him there. When I am clothing these little wigglies, I am meeting Him. Every meal I cook, every chore I do, I am meeting Him in the beautiful souls of my husband and two sons. I needed to be reminded that I don't have to be before Him in the sacraments for Him to see me as His little lovely. This is our season. His and mine. I needed to be reminded that the love that I have for Him has grown exponentially through our little family. That He is using me. That I am a vessel. That he has heard the prayers of my heart all these years, I just took a little time to gain the perspective. The perspective that I can know, love, and serve Him daily at the feet of my family.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No man has ever seen God. Yet, if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us.

-1 John 4: 11-12

 ***

I’m writing seven posts in seven days this week (or trying to, anyway). To check out other bloggers who are doing the same, see the list here.

Sweet Little Flower

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Happy feast day of Sweet St. Therese of the Little Flower! This sweet saint has been such a blessing to me! Such a blessing to me as a woman, a wife, and now as a mother. Her little ways have taught me so much. From this beautiful young woman I have gained so much perspective on things such as: goodness, kindness, my vocation, letting go, and most especially about love.

I had wondered for a long time why God had preferences and why all souls did not receive an equal amount of grace [...] Jesus saw fit to enlighten me about this mystery. He set the book of nature before me and I saw that all the flowers He has created are lovely. The splendour of the rose and whiteness of the lily do not rob the little violet of its scent nor the daisy of its simple charm. I realised that if every tiny flower wanted to be a rose, spring would lose its loveliness and there would be no wild flowers to make the meadows gay.

It is just the same in the world of souls — which is the garden of Jesus. He has created the great saints who are like the lilies and the roses, but He has also created much lesser saints and they must be content to be the daisies or the violets which rejoice His eyes whenever He glances down. Holiness consists in doing His will, in being that which He wants us to be.

― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

The last line of the above quote means so much to my mama heart. When I first decided I would stay home to be a wife and mother, in my heart I knew this is what I was being asked. I had a beautiful conviction that may  not make sense to the world but made every bit of sense to my soul. For me, my little domestic monastery made sense and was a gift. Sweet Therese affirmed for me that my Lord wants me to love the seeds that the Holy Spirit planted in my heart many years ago. She made my decision to stay home beautiful and good. Because of her, I see a road lined with beautiful flowers of opportunity to love. My road that, God-willingly, will bring me and my family Home with His grace.

Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.

― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

Living in my domestic monastery with three beautiful souls, it's easy to get caught up in the craziness of the present moment. And even easier to not see the greater good in a huge pile of laundry or the ridiculous number of stinkies you've changed in one day. Sweet Therese reminds me of how beautiful even the smallest of to-do's in our day-to-day truly are if done for love of Him. So many opportunities to love, to serve, to know these sweet little souls and in turn know my God. So many joys. So many smiles. So many laughs. So much love. Her childlike goodness helped me see that - even on my worst days - beauty and blessing overflow.

What a comfort it is, this way of love! You may stumble on it, you may fail to correspond with grace given, but always love knows how to make the best of everything; whatever offends our Lord is burnt up in its fire, and nothing is left but a humble, absorbing peace deep down in the heart.

― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

The peace she speaks of is so true! I have been blessed to know it. Not always to remember it, but the times I do, I'm forever thankful. In today's world, where motherhood is a burden and our maternal gifts are optional. Where the self is first and sacrifice is unnecessary and should be avoided. Where life is measured by the standards of our society and what the world deems good and not by the virtues that call us home. Sweet Therese shared with me that in spite of whether I please all or none, if I strive to live the life He has called me to as a wife and mother, there is hope that I too can join her up above. That I too can someday be a little saint.

God would never inspire me with desires which cannot be realized; so in spite of my littleness, I can hope to be a saint.

― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

And lastly, I am mostly grateful for her little ways of love.

Oh! it is LOVE! To love, to be loved, and to come back to earth to make LOVE loved.

― St. Thérèse de Lisieux

She's beautiful. She's one of my favorite saints. These little morsels of goodness that I've shared don't even scratch the surface of the gifts that she has left us all. The little trail of petals that she laid down for us, gently and beautifully lead us to heaven. Her trail is attractive. It is enticing. Alluring. It is good. And, it draws us closer to each other in love as it also, and more importantly, draws us closer to He who is love.

So, thank you dear St. Therese of the Little Flower, for showing me the beautiful roses that await me every day.

And, in closing, enjoy this beautiful morning prayer from the Little Flower herself:

A Morning Prayer

O my God! I offer Thee all my actions of this day for the intentions and for the glory of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I desire to sanctify every beat of my heart, my every thought, my simplest works, by uniting them to Its infinite merits; and I wish to make reparation for my sins by casting them into the furnace of Its Merciful Love.

O my God! I ask of Thee for myself and for those whom I hold dear, the grace to fulfill perfectly Thy Holy Will, to accept for love of Thee the joys and sorrows of this passing life, so that we may one day be united together in heaven for all Eternity.

Amen.

St. Therese of the Little Flower, pray for us. Amen.

~~~

(Head over to The Pitter Patter Diaries to get to know other wonderful saints!)