Sunday, February 15, 2015

Embrace the Ordinary: We danced our nighttime dance.

Hail Mary...

As he fights bedtime. Same as he has since he came from my womb.

Full of grace...

As he softly resists all the while nuzzling in.

Sweetest, it's time to close your eyes.

He shuts one and snickers.

Gentle woman..
Quiet light...

He stills. I rock, continue to sing, and hold him.

Little one, try to keep still.

As he turns and twists into his blankie.

Back and forth...
Back and forth...

It's time for bed. Try to sleep.

He squeaks. Looks up at me slowly. Smiles. Then snuggles in again.


He looks up for a kiss. I give him a kiss.

Please try to sleep now. Would you like more milk? 

He takes a sip.

Okay. Now close your eyes.

Snuggle. Snuggle. Snuggle.


Crinkle...crinkle...crinkle... (As he fumbles the tags on his blankie because somehow over the years that has become soothing.)

Please go to sleep. I love you.

Will you let me be your servant...

Let me be as Christ to you...

And on and on we went. We danced our nighttime dance. This was the night of your birthday sweet Linus. I let every bit of it linger in my heart. As much as I was tired and wanted to go rest myself after celebrating wonderful you, I let you play a little longer. In my arms. Next to my heart.

You will never be two again. I know this. You won't always want to linger with me. Be held by me. Or rocked or snuggled. So that night, we lingered together.

Eventually you fell asleep. Eventually. Daddy came in to get you. He held you too. I left the room and he put you in your bed. Fast asleep. 

Little one, we love you. Sleep hasn't always come easy for us these past two years but you have been handling all of your transitions better than we could have anticipated. Even though you've had your fair share of difficult nights, these sweet ones are coming more and more often. 

You won't always be little but that night you were little enough to let me hold you, sing to you, and rock you. Know that I loved it. Know that I held it close to my heart. All the sillies, all the twists and turns, all the snuggling, and all the other little things. And I'm thankful I had the grace to do that. 

Love you, sweet boy. <3 p="">


  1. So so beautiful.. brought me to tears. You are so right. They won't always want to be held, snuggled to sleep. Thanks for that sweet reminder.

    1. Thank you, Karen. As you know, we've had our struggle with Linus in the sleep department, but he really is getting so much better lately. That night, I just wanted to cling to his sweetness. Especially after that long week of the boys being sick! See you soon friend!

  2. This is so lovely - you will really treasure being able to read this again in years to come, the memories so vivid in your writing :)

    1. Thanks, Rosie! Yah, this post was mostly written in the dark after he dozed off. He was so sweet and is so sweet. Just so thankful for the grace to be able to be present the times that I am, because Lord knows I'm not always okay to rest where he plants me. :)

  3. Sweet, sweet words. What a treasure!

    1. Thank you, Erica! It really was a sweet night filled with tons of grace.

  4. What a lovely post. It is so touching and honest...and reminds me to snuggle my little sleep-ninja just a little more.

    1. Thanks, Gina! I savored it because I know how hard of a road we've had! Our sleep-ninjas have rocked us for sure, but they do have their sweet moments. Thankful for the times I do embrace that truth. :)


Comment love makes me happy!

motherhood // standing

  Never had I experienced true fear or anxiety till becoming a mother. Fragile little souls wrapped in beauty pla...