Be a Mother to me now.

Happy Mother's Day, to all you mamas out there, both physical and spiritual! Pray that your day is filled with lots of love and joy!

Joining another round of Answer Me This! Enjoy!

1. What's for dinner?

Sushi! Hopefully. For Mother's Day it's my pick since I'm the mama in this household. My pick usually is a fun brunch place or sushi! Hoping it's sushi, today!

Since having the boys we don't get out to sushi as often as my tastebuds would like, so it seems we've started going on special occasions. Something I am happy about and will take! Special occasion sushi is way better than no sushi.

***
Ok, just got back from dinner and we did not end up at my new favorite sushi place. Instead we went to an incredibly yummy burger place. So glad my husband reminded me I've been wanting a burger! This place came recommended by friends and it definitely lived up to it's reputation. It's called Shady's and has a fun open/outside set up to it. I had a burger with grilled onion and jalepeno, swiss cheese and fries. All that goodness was topped off with a perfectly made margarita. Good times were had, friends! And, I'm thankful!


2. What's the last thing you borrowed from someone?
Hm. I have to think about this one.

Ah, yes! I recently borrowed a garlic mincer from a friend who came over for dinner. We were hosting them for a fun Saturday evening dinner and seeing how I only recently discovered the magic and glory of a mincer but have yet to buy my own, asked if she would bring hers over.

Speaking of which, I need to get it back to her!


3. What is your favorite prayer?

Mary, Mother of Jesus, please be a mother to me now.

It's a simple prayer that I hold dear to my heart. Ever since becoming a mama I pray these words during the tough days and the good days. It's comforting to know that the Mother of Our Lord is praying for me. I know she brings me to her Son when I call on her. And, I know she knows what to say to Him better than I ever could in the mama prayer department. Especially when I'm having one of those challenging mama days.

The prayer is one that I know Blessed Mother Theresa would encourage those she spoke with to pray. I met with the Sisters of Charity while I was in DC and one of the cards that Sister Theresa gave me had these words printed on the back (Not Blessed Mother Teresa, but a Sister that knew her and worked with her for awhile in India before moving to DC.). Special and beautiful and all things lovely.


4. What is the oldest thing in your house?
Does the house itself count? It was built in 1967. And, I honestly don't think we own anything that was made or purchased prior to that. I do have a ring-holder that was my maternal-grandmother's but I'm not sure how old it is. I also have a tray that belonged to her.

So, the answer to this question lies somewhere a midst the three things I just mentioned. Unless I'm completely missing something that's really old, but either way it's not on my radar right now, so I'm sticking to somewhere in the three mentioned.


5. What's the best concert you ever attended?
I've never been one for concerts. I did go to a Lifehouse concert while in graduate school that was standing room only in a warehouse type venue. That was fun. Aside from that, I'm a huge fan of anything jazzy, comfy, and cozy. Take me to a Jazz bar or restaurant with some good jazzy classics and I am one happy woman.


6. Do you have a nickname?

Never been one to be called anything other than Amanda for the most part. I suppose some people call me Manda, but I don't think that counts. I'm definitely not a Mandy nor have I ever been.

When I was little my mom, dad, and brother would call me Nana. My brother had trouble saying my whole name and so Nana it was. They still call me that every once in awhile, but once he started saying my whole name, that's what it was - Amanda.

The only other nickname that I would say stuck with one side of my family is Manny. I had an aunt that would babysit me often when younger and she would call me Manny. She still does to this day and so do some of my cousins and aunts on that side of my family. But, the nickname never escaped that side of my family.

~~~

That's all for Answer Me This with Kendra at Catholic All Year. Thanks for the fun content to blog about, Kendra! 

Also, tagging on What I Wore last Sunday. I got a picture but never got around to posting it. So, this will be me linking-up this week with what I wore last week for Mass. As well as a couple random photos of the boys at a park downtown. Random and fun times were had. 

Jewelry: James Avery

Cardi: Target

Dress: Online (can't remember the name)

Shoes: Nine West

All you amazing selfie takers for WIWS need to teach me your ways. I have no idea what I'm doing and would love some tips!!

Love him in this picture. Is it just me or is it so incredibly hard to get face forward pictures of toddlers??

Mr. Serious Linus on the Merry-Go-Round. He was a fan. But, I think he was more a fan of holding onto the ball he brought.

Thanks so much for stopping by! Going to leave you with a favorite quote from G.K. Chesterton on motherhood that the lovely Sarah also shared today.

How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe?

How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? 

No. A woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.

-G.K.Chesterton

Advent Unplugged: Come away for a while...

I mentioned last Sunday that I was going to whole-heartedly try to unplug and to be more intentional about my day-to-day to-dos. For the most part things are going alright. Now, let's get specific.

Facebook has been deleted from my phone and the time spent on that little social network/black hole of my time has dramatically changed. I don't think to get on anymore, aside during my possible mini break when both boys are sleeping at the same time (rare) or at night before Linus wakes to nurse. So there has been an upside to this one specific change. Less phone time...kind of.

I try to remember to leave my phone in the kitchen while I'm at the table or in the room playing with the boys, but this one doesn't always happen. I worry that I may miss a call or text from someone that may need a response so I ultimately keep it with me. I have lessened my screen time even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it. This area can definitely use some improvement only because I think to look at my phone often to check for hypothetical texts, calls, or emails.

Now, here is where I am getting into my struggle of unplugging. My brain and selfishness are hard to turn off! As much as there has been less phone time, I am struggling with being as present as I would like. Possibly because I'm going stir-carazzy here with icepocalypse 2013 going on over here in Dallas, but still not an excuse.

Often times I find myself just wanting a little break to sit and watch a show (i.e. not think and be mindless.), which I ultimately do after the boys are in bed during naps or bedtime. And then there's the feeling that I'm just not doing so hot with the potty-training/two-year old toddler stage of life mixed with crawling baby boy who travels at the speed of light to get into anything and everything at the very same time said toddler needs to go to the potty? I mean my tolerance/mama patience wears thin real quick after cleaning up the potty that was meant for the paw-dee. It's yuck. And as much as I can do diapers there's just something about the lack of containment and my toddler who oh-so-easily can become so consumed with whatever he's doing, so much so that he fails to mention he needed to go sit. And then there's me who doesn't just take him because I'm tending to the little guy. Oye! I'm getting tired just writing this out! So, let's just say it's just a combination of it all?

On that crazy note, I've recently and randomly remembered Special K (Sister Katherine) encouraging me to rest in this scripture:

Jesus said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while. 

Mark 6: 31

Sweet Sister, resting is something that my personality definitely lends to, probably too much! I could easily be a professional rest-er. I know very well how to rest. But, I don't think I've been resting the way she meant nor how Christ wants me to. You see, after my tid-bits of "rest", I'm not feeling rejuvenated. So, I must be missing something.

Over Thanksgiving break, there was lots of hustle and bustle around preparing all the incredibly yummy goodness that was had. My mom and I did a lot. We were non-stop. I, mostly, following the lead of my mother who has hosted a number of Thanksgivings (She was awesome!). She knew what to do and she knew how to do it well. It was go-time for most of the day. Even meal-time felt like go-time because we have the littles.

Now, being someone who loves to be in the kitchen, I enjoyed every bit of it. Or rather, I loved the baking portion because that is one thing that just relaxes me and makes me happy. The big bird thing, not so much. I'm with Britt on this one. There's something about handling raw birds that I just don't do - unless I really have to (insert super-hero mom -my mom- who was uh-mazing with the turkey!). 

But, getting back to the resting portion of this post, I felt most rejuvenated when I was with little Linus sitting and nursing him. I treasured sitting with him in the rocker for nursing all throughout Thanksgiving day. And as much as I love our nursing relationship, I loved it in a new way on that day. It made time stand still. I felt like I came away with Him to rest awhile. I reflected. I nourished. It was peaceful. It was life-giving. I prayed. I was thankful. I was happy for the moment to reflect and to snuggle the sweet little life that He blessed us with. I felt the most unplugged then.

The nursing sessions gave me a chance to reflect on all the so many wonderful posts about Advent that all you awesome bloggers put out the week prior to Advent and the week of (yup, I am the least on-time person in the universe). Posts on silence. Posts on waiting. Posts on being present. So many beautiful insights from so many wonderful women trying to set a tone in their home that reflects the amazing journey Our Lady had up to the birth of her beautiful and perfect Son. The journey of her waiting on the Lord.

Be still before the LORD; wait for him.

Psalm 37:7

She waited on Him who was already with her. He was with her before He was in her womb, He was with her in a beautiful way while in her womb, and He was with her in such a special way during His journey. But, the point is He was with her. 

And, the point is He is with me. In all these wonderful ways. I felt most unplugged while I, with my heart, mind, and soul, was with Him. Not on a show. Not while I was complaining. Not while I was not getting stuff done and frustrated that I had so much to get done. Not when I lost my patience for the umpteenth time. It was when I let myself, let Him, fill me with good things. 

Week one of Advent has passed. I missed celebrating the Feast of St. Nicholas (one of my favorites), I am just putting up our Advent wreath, I am just starting to pull out Christmas decorations, and am just behind on all things Advent life, but I am hoping and praying I am more present and intentional in the weeks to come. More unplugging. More stillness internally. The external is going to be crazy. It is going to keep going. It's the inside that I need to keep calm. Keep quiet and still. So that I can share that joy that I feel in my heart about the upcoming birth of our Savior.

With His Grace!

O come o come Emmanuel!

3-2-1: Love

3 things you would rather be doing right now
:: Reading. I'd love to have some nice coffee shop reading with some old classic jazz playing in the background with a delicious cup o' joe in my hand.
:: Would love for the rain to hit our area again so that we could just go outside and get soaked. Walk around. Dance around. And just let the water hit.
:: I would also love for that rain to come back and get in an awesome nap wrapped in a cozy blanket. 

2 people you would like to meet in heaven (and God is a given – we all get to meet Him!)
:: I want to see my grandparents again. I miss them.
:: Our Lady

1 thing you would like to be known for
:: I would love to be known for my love of our Lord and Lady. If I could just figure out how to best love them I know that love would pour fourth onto my family, friends, loved ones, and all who I met - sharing with them nothing but His Goodness, Joy, and Love. (Totally failing at this more often than not as of late.)

Head over to Cristina's at Filling my Prayer Closet to see more 3-2-1 fun. :)  And, thank you Jenny at Suscipio, for this sweet and simple link-up for my sleepy-mom brain!

A Happy Day

&

Happy Birthday to our kind, gentle, and beautiful blessed Mother of Our Lord! 

Sweet Mary, Mother of our Lord, Pray for all Grandparents and to those who have recourse to thee!

homeschool: here I am, Lord

"Be strengthened in Almighty God and in the power of His might, for with His help nothing is difficult. Throw off the heavy load of your own will, cast aside the burden of sin, and gird yourselves as valiant warriors. Forget what you are leaving behind; strain forward to the great things before you. I tell you that every place where you set foot shall be yours. For the Spirit who goes before your face is Christ the Lord. He will carry you to the topmost peak in the arms of His love."

-Saint Francis of Assisi

Here I am, Lord.

There have been many times that Our Lord has moved me in a direction. He has given me these subtle nudges that have brought me to different places. He has called me. And, I have always done my best to respond with my Here I am, Lord. His sweet calls lead me to college, then to graduate school, and finally to various jobs in my directed field. They brought me to my husband and to motherhood. He has always been gentle. Always kind. Taking my hand in the direction He desires for me. All of these callings have been so fulfilling, regardless of how challenging they have or have not been. They have brought me a sense of peace. For this, and so many other reasons, my trust is wholeheartedly in Him. Or, at the very least, I am striving to always trust Him with all that I am as best as I humanly can.

Is it I, Lord?

In the past, some of the nudges or callings have been very loud and clear. He simply stirred my soul in a way that could not be ignored. Not until He received my Fiat, did I experience the Peace He was wanting to share with me. While others nudges have been softer, sweeter, and filled with gentleness.

I have heard You calling in the night.

Since marrying my dear husband, I have had various nudges. One, for example, is how He brought us to the conception of our firstborn - such a gift - that, in turn, made me a mother. Another would be when I discerned, greatly, on whether or not to stay home with my son or to return to work like so many before me. His calling always brought me home - sweetly and gently.

The peace I felt was something that could not be ignored. Still, today, I continue to experience this peace and joy as I journey through my vocation of motherhood in our home. While some may see it as a very inactive or passive route when compared to today's "shoulds", I see my present as one of the biggest fiats that I have given to my God. He called and, by His grace, I answered and continue to do so one day at a time. It isn't always easy, but He never said it would be. We now have two sweet boys under our roof and in this young Mama's care. 

I will go, Lord...if You lead me.

Here, recently, I have heard Him calling again. This nudge has been coming along over the past year and I have been answering by reading all the things, researching, discerning, praying, and more. I find that I am most at peace when I am not fighting the notion that was planted within my heart just like so many other seeds before. This new seed is no different than those before only because it is another step that He is asking me to take - to trust Him with. Does that make it any less surprising or unexpected? Nope.

I will hold Your people in my heart.

These recent nudges are about homeschooling. Yup. I said it. Eep, and wrote it! At the end of the day, I know some will think I'm crazy for even considering this kind of journey. Sometimes I wonder the same thing. But I always find peace in knowing God would never task me with something that He has not prepared me for in some way or another. I also know that God's Will for me is sanctifying and if this be part of it, then I want to let it be done unto me.


So with that, this coming year will be dedicated to learning as much as I possibly can about homeschooling (haha, there's that word again!). What are the day-to-day logistics? Which program will best fit our family? Conferences (was blessed to have already attended one! Yay, me!). Meetings. Research. and anything else I can get my hands on that will help me better understand what all this journey entails. I'm going to approach it as I've approached every journey I've ever taken, meanwhile, remembering these sweet words of wisdom from the Venerable Fulton J. Sheen:

"We always make the mistake of thinking that it is what we do that matters, when really what matters is what we let God do to us. God sent the angel to Mary, not to ask her to do something, but to let something be done.” 

-Venerable Fulton J. Sheen

Mary, Mother of our Lord, pray for our little family. 

7 Quick Takes Friday: Two link-ups in one week!

--- 1 ---

Who am ?! Well, definitely not a linker-upper. That is, until this week! I'm very new to link-ups, but I'm so glad I'm doing it because I have wanted to get more involved in the amazing blogging community that is out there. It's exciting to be able to become more apart of a network of amazing women that are beautiful and inspiring. So, YAY ME, for taking some steps to join the awesomeness and hopefully make some new friends along the way.

--- 2 ---

I need sleep. Sleep and I have always been amazing friends. That is, up until I had my first son. But, he kind of eased me in to things. He was a great sleeper. He was regularly sleeping 7 to 9 hours by 4 months. And, we exclusively breastfed! So, even though that was a tough time, it was manageable. Now, fast forward to sweet child numero dos, and we have a completely different story. I've convinced myself the little guy does not want me and sleep to continue our friendship.

Like I said before, sleep and I were always great friends, then firstborn happened. Our friendship was rocky, but we got through it. Now that second born is here, our friendship has been squashed. I still have hope that some day we will reconcile, but I just have to come to terms that it will not be any time soon.

God give me the grace to learn to function better as a mama zombie and all will be well in this household. Till then, I miss my dear friend.

--- 3 ---

I drink coffee. To help with the pain of losing my friendship with sleep. This helps. Mostly. But, it can be tricky since we are also exclusively nursing and I just don't know sometimes if it is that one cup of coffee that is giving my child fussy sleep. So, my limit is one. Maybe one and half if I accidentally pour a little more on those really sleepless nights. Or maybe, more like two cups? But that's it!

--- 4 ---

I really enjoy coffee. It's always been such a sweet time for me. Drinking a cup is just so relaxing. It's happy. It's delicious and all things homey. Drinking a cup over some girl chat with dear friends is also a favorite.

But, when a gnat decides they are going to crash my precious cup of coffee, I stare at the mean thing and wonder how could it possibly try and ruin my sweet time that I enjoy so much. Gnat's are rude, but the one that just landed in my cup of coffee (literally just moments ago) just took rude to a whole new level that I am not okay with.

--- 5 ---

Both boys are sleeping right now. Which is giving me time to write these really quick, quick takes. God bless them for giving me a few moments to just ramble and drink my cup of coffee (I took the gnat out and am still drinking it. Call me gross, but after last night coffee is more of a necessity, and I am in no shape to make another pot.)

Fingers crossed I can sneak in a shower once I finish up with these quick takes. My in-laws are coming to stay with us tonight and I'd rather them not see me in the I-haven't-showered-today (or maybe even yesterday either) mode.

--- 6 ---

Speaking of my in-laws, they are coming in town for an awesome event. We are baptizing sweet Linus, who needs to learn to sleep better at night! My precious baby will be joining our amazing Faith in such a beautiful way tomorrow and I couldn't be more excited! Who knows, maybe all the graces from the baptism will help our sweet sleep more peacefully?

But really, when we baptized Bigfoot, I cried because it was so exciting! So real, beautiful, and all things wonderful! Thank you Lord for the beautiful journey of faith our little Linus is about to embark on and for Your amazing embrace!

--- 7 ---

So, not only do I need to shower but I also have a list of to-do's I need to get done before tomorrow at 3 pm. I know I can do it. I just pray I can do so with a lot less of the crazy and a lot more of the joyfully/gracefully.

Mary, Mother of our precious Lord, be a mother to me now. Amen!

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

"You know, Mother, that I have always wanted to be become a saint. Unfortunately when I have compared myself with the saints, I have always found that there is the same difference between the saints and me as there is between a mountain whose summit is lost in the clouds and a humble grain of sand trodden underfoot by passersby. Instead of being discouraged, I told myself: God would not make me wish for something impossible and so, in spite of my littleness, I can aim at being a saint. It is impossible for me to grow bigger, so I put up with myself as I am, with all my countless faults. But I will look for some means of going to heaven by a little way which is very short and very straight, a little way that is quite new[...] It is your arms, Jesus, which are the lift to carry me to heaven, And so there is no need for me to grow up. In fact, just the opposite: I must stay little and become less and less." –St. Thérèse of Lisieux, The Story of a Soul. (New York: Double Day, 2001), 113.

Our little family on Mother's Day

Sweet memories, even if these pics are a little late.

~~

Our little family.

My beautiful mama, myself, and the little gifts that blessed me with mommyhood.

Hope all the wonderful mother's out there had a beautiful day filled with love.

Mama Mary, pray for us.

Little Crosses and Little Blessings for this Mama's Little Heart

As many of you know, I desperately stormed Heaven for the possibility of avoiding major surgery (ie cesarean birth) with our newest little. As with Bigfoot, I so much wanted to have a vaginal delivery, au natural, but as life and His Will would have it, I did not get that. Through a lot of tears, prayer, talking with my husband, family, and friends, as well as, trying to always be thankful for the present moment, I moved forward and began praying for a chance to VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with our second child.

You may be wondering why I have been so stubborn about it. And, sometimes I ask myself the same thing. But, in my heart I know that a piece of me will always mourn the loss of being able to deliver vaginally, as God intended our bodies, as women, to bring life forth into this world. I'm not entirely sure how I will feel come future children, given I most likely will not be able to ever have another chance for a trial of labor, but I do know a little bit of me will ache.

You see, I prayed for such a long time, that God prepare me physically, spiritually, and emotionally to be a mother and wife. I began praying ever since I felt that my vocation was to be a wife and mother. When I would think of bringing life into this world, of being a physical vessel of his goodness and miracles, my heart experienced a joy that was overwhelming. And, you now may be saying that I did carry a healthy miracle to term and had two healthy baby boys, despite having them via cesarean. And..you are right! I have had two very blessed pregnancies and do have two wonderful little boys to show for it! For this, I could not be more grateful. But, somewhere in my heart, there was a seed that was planted long ago that I nourished as well as I could and did not see it bear fruit as I thought it would. It has been somewhat heartbreaking, leaving me feeling a little broken, that I was not able to share a vaginal delivery with my sons nor my husband. I know the health benefits, for my children and for myself significantly outweigh that of surgery. Knowing this, how could a mother not want to give her child the birth that exemplifies our feminine genius?

But, for whatever reason, it has not been in His Will for me or us. I know there are many lessons that have and will continue to be learned through this. There already have been so many gifts that came with my first cesarean: my healthy first-born, an amazing outpouring of servitude from family and friends, incredible love in others caring for me in my post-surgery state, friends being so wonderful and present, me being forced to allow others to see me incredibly vulnerable and weak, suffering that I was able to offer up daily for others, me being forced to not have it all together, me being forced to not work my way to being good at something because my body was so crippled from the trauma of two days of labor and major surgery...I could go on and on, but off the top of my head these were gifts.

Fast-forward to the birth of my sweet P. All, or most, was different. Different in that the crosses and blessings didn't look quite the same. We did wait three days post due date to see if our little guy would come on his own. Apparently, he decided I was way more comfy than the bright and cold world that awaited him (I don't blame him). My ob-gyn, said that it was in our best interest to schedule the cesarean - so, we did.

All of the scheduling and arriving at the hospital at said time, filling out paper work, sitting and waiting, etc seemed pretty cold to me. We got our instructions on when to arrive, to not eat after midnight, a quick run through of what to expect and that was that. The nurses decided on Sweet P's birthday based on availability. Something about that hurt a little, but trust me when I say, I will be needing to re-frame all of the things that rub my heart the wrong way given my cesarean delivery method now being a sealed fate for me after having had two.

Even though I could continue to share more of my not-so-pleasant experiences of scheduling your child's birth, I want to share the more encouraging side of the day too.

I did have family and friends cheering me all the way. Part of me couldn't help but be scared and sad given my previous cesarean experience with my first son, but there was a turning point for me. I know many were praying for me; some sent emails, others texts and phone calls. All of them nudging my heart to be open to what God had for me in this delivery and reminding me that I would be holding my sweet gift from Above very soon. The excitement from all the grandparents and my husband, as well as the staff, was also a constant reminder of how joy-filled I should be. Very quickly, through all of their loving hearts and eyes, I was able to let go more and more and just focus on the love and joy that I had for this child. Fear and sadness did enter my heart from time to time, but overall I felt His Peace and was constantly calling our Lord's Sweet Mother to hold me.

The blessings continued to pour forth on Sweet P's birthday. For starters, all the grandparents, aunts, and uncles could plan to be present to welcome our little love into our sweet family. Also, we were blessed to be scheduled for the Hour of Mercy, which really helped me focus on uniting all my struggles to the Cross of Our Lord. Our nurse and anesthesiologist as well as all others involved in our hospital delivery were wonderful at guiding and comforting me through each stage of this surgery. They brought my son to me immediately and let me hold him. They never took him from me. I was able to do skin-to-skin and nurse him within the hour of his life. My son was never out of my sight. The beautiful child I carried for nine months was able to be with his mama. Those moments I treasure more than words because with my first-born I was under heavy medication and don't recall the first 5-7 hours of his life including the first time I held him, nursed him, meeting the grandparents, seeing family post surgery, and more. All just a big blur in my heart. So, as you can imagine, being alert and functional throughout the surgery and day were more than I could have asked for and blessed my soul so very much. Also, I was able to walk within 24 hours. My surgical recovery has been much easier. And even though it broke my heart to not be able to carry my oldest at all in the first two weeks and still limited carrying at one month, this allowed me to spend extra attention to our newest addition. Time I may not have focused on as much had I been without any physical restrictions post-delivery. So, with that cross, came a blessing - wonderful bonding time with my youngest son. Or rather, with all of these little crosses that I carried within me all came with amazing blessings that only He could give.

I could go on, but for now I think I'm at a good stopping point. Part of me, at first, wanted to avoid posting our cesarean delivery pictures. I guess, for me, posting those birthday pictures make everything more real and official for me. Makes the realization that I have to let go of a woman's natural way to deliver ever more present to me. But, little by little, I am embracing my path and trying to do so with Joy (even if it just happens from time to time for now). So, with Joy, I am posting (and have been posting) pictures of our family immediately following the surgery. My first moments with my son. Moments that I did not have with my first delivery. Moments that I will forever treasure. And could not be more grateful for. 

I pray that my little crosses help my little heart to grow in ways that only He can fathom. I pray that it helps me to grow into a better wife and mother, daughter/sister and friend. I pray that somehow, despite my constant failings, He will help bring me closer to Him, which in turn will help me bring Him closer to others.

~~~

Suscipe 

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,

my memory, my understanding

and my entire will,

All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.

To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.

Give me only your love and your grace.

That is enough for me.

-St. Ignatius of Loyola

Sweet P's Birthday

²⁷ This is the child for which I was praying, and Yahweh has granted me what I asked of him.²⁸ Now I make him over to Yahweh for the whole of his life. He is made over to Yahweh.' They then worshipped Yahweh there. -Samuel 1:27-28

Our new sweet was born! He was healthy, precious, and all the wonderful snuggles, cuddles, and baby smells a sweet baby boy comes with. And yes, Sweet P is a boy! Surprise! So many thought we were for sure having a sweet baby girl this time, but God had other plans in mind for us. I'm so excited to see our sons grow together and enjoy their love and boyish fun! Joseph is the sweetest big brother offering sweet kisses whenever he can. Even though he has snuck in a few smacks for his little brother he has definitely outweighed any mal-attempts with kisses, hugs, and a helping hand. He has been so patient and good for this recovering-from-a-cesarean mama.

Our little family cannot be more excited to have Eli with us. It's such a beautiful gift to be able to see our family grow from two to four. The years and our Lord have been so good to us. We couldn't be more grateful for this precious life that has been gifted us from Above. I'll write more about Eli's birth story in another post, but know for now, I am doing my best to figure out life with two under two; meanwhile, being good to myself while I heal.

Thank you, everyone, for the gift and blessing of your prayers. They have been heard in so many ways, which I will be sure to share. We have felt covered in your loving and prayerful words since the day we knew how and when our little Eli would make himself known to us.

Blessed Mother, continue to pray for our little family.

Happy Feast of St. Nicholas

A year ago today, I was ready and excited to celebrate this feast day. I wrote about it here and here. But, this year, we have yet to even begin decorating our home, much less our beautiful and bare Christmas tree that sits in the corner just waiting for us to adorn it.

This year, our little Bigfoot has been struggling with a cold that has been absolutely vicious. It has somewhat affected me and seems to be seeping into the world of my husband slowly but surely. I have not had time to think about putting up all the fun decor in our home because our son has not been well and has needed me. He's needed his mama to hold him, comfort him, reassure him, give him his meds, take him to the doctor, help him sleep as well as possible, endure this new whiny cry that decided to make it's appearance the moment this terrible runny nose and cough set in, be patient with him, and he's needed me to be there for all the other happenings that go along with a toddler who is just not feeling well.

Needless to say, I can't wait for our home to transform and become a visual representation of our preparation for the celebration of the birth of our Lord. Advent the time of preparation. The time that started this past week. A time to reflect, celebrate, pray, and to prepare the way for the coming of our precious Savior. All these things are good, but, this year our time started differently. Our time started with our Bigfoot catching a cold. I know there is good in this. GeekMan and I have been able to serve our child. Probably no where near as beautiful and wonderful as our lovely Mother Mary served the Christ-child, but with her prayers and His Grace, I hope we've done as well as we could for where we have been these past few weeks.

And so, Advent has started. Even though we aren't yet decorated within our home, I know our hearts are just so excited. We've talked about this wonderful time. We talked about our exciting plans to prepare ourselves, our family, and our home. Yet, as life would have it, we have been humbled and asked to prepare ourselves in a way that was a little deeper than our original thoughts. We've been asked to see beyond ourselves and serve. To love selflessly. To be present to the beautiful child that God has shared with us.

For now, we will continue to try and be as present to His Will for us in these days. It has been difficult and trying (especially the whole I'm 8 months pregnant and not getting any sleep part), but I'm grateful for a brief moment to reflect. And, thankfully, our Bigfoot is on the mend. We are finally seeing the light! Glimpses of our sweet ones joy and energy are slowly but surely resurfacing, which we could not be more grateful for. We just pray that he continues on this track (it is so hard to see your little one suffer!!!).

As much as I've been consumed in my son, I hope I'll be able to see that He is also calling me to see His Face. I pray that I can see that as a blessing. Decorating can always happen tomorrow. And there are so many wonderful feast days to celebrate this month!

G'night!

St. Gianna Beretta Molla, pray for us.
Holy Family, pray for us.
St. Nicholas, pray for us.